fate's a cruel mistress, girl

August 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 January 2012

ericamay, 25may1995, single forever, devoted to peter pan

charlieissocoollike, doctor who, peter pan, you me at six, i see stars, andy oliver, devin oliver, ribbons, bows, drummers, bright colours, black and white contrast, people who smile a lot, laughing, beats, rhythms, being good at something, fireworks, writing, sketching, details, internet, photoshop, graphic design, coding, paint, crayons, paper, plain goldfish, the colours green and blue, prince phillip, princess aurora, tinkerbell, neverland, disneyland, disneyworld, crush the turtle, chemistry, storybook romance, arctic monkeys, britain, irish accents, every accent, scottish boys, skinny boys, pale boys, collarbones, freckles, gingers, photobooths, madina lake, billy idol, chocolate chip cookies, toffee, tiny marshmallows, hot cocoa, good memories, bloodrushes, laughing, singers, musicians, good headphones, punching the backs of car seats while listening to hardcore music in parking lots, hugs, kisses, winter, sweaters, hoodies, scarves, snowflakes, eyelashes, pretty eyes, dark hair, blonde hair, straight hair, wavy hair, offensive humours, people who don't take things seriously, heated debates, awkward moments, having private concerts home alone, red pandas, sharks, weasels, minxes, puppydogs, kittycats, post-it notes, caring reminders, strawberries, raspberries, william beckett, matt smith, karen gillan, david tennant, alex turner, joe brooks, noah and the whale, mumford and sons, los campesinos, french people, foreign languages, magic tricks, illusions, photographs, macros, doodling people i know, doodling people i wish i knew, pens that flow smoothly, shortbread cookies, tapping my feet, high fives, pokemon, laughing so hard i cry, being told people love me, winning, swedish fish, candies, neil patrick harris, nerimon, frezned, danisnotonfire, alexisonfire, billy talent, taking back sunday, john gomez, brian dales, alex pettyfer, logan lerman, tumblr, squareenix, old names, music class, good friends, late-night confessions, hanging out anywhere, eccentricity, spontaneous people, people with good memories, being unforgotten, lyricists, air heads, scissors, kicking, unicorns, rainbows, miss rainicorn, adventure time with finn and jake, flapjack, we came as romans, architects, joy division, two door cinema club, emma watson, george craig, emma watson and george craig together, the hoosiers, old photos, chalk drawing, graffiti, skateboarders, bmx riders, comic fanatics, superheros, guys, candy in tin cases, pastel stars, pointless wishing, sweet dreams, morning messages, text conversations, honey on toast, apple jelly, internet memes, advil, motion city soundtrack, vampire weekend, rolo tomassi, people named connor, people named sebastian, william, james, oliver, owen, eoin, alexander, joshua, andrew, aaron, christopher, jackson, hunter, and the like, the afterlife kids, downloading music, new downloads, video games, rpgs, shooter games, screaming, all forgotten, arcade fire, the asteroids galaxy tour, kick ass, aaron johnson, christopher mintz-plasse, devon werkshire, thick rimmed glasses, flickr, hipsters, cute kids, never growing up, beastie boys, we are the ocean, blink182, chameleon circuit, john green, hank green, paper towns, the perks of being a wallflower, lewis carroll, c.s. lewis, absolute brightness, the chronicles of narnia, lockets, trinkets, mimes, golden pocketwatches, nifty antiquities, halloween, sewing, the click five, parkway drive, cold war kids, obscurities, confessions, bookstores, candy stores, inside jokes, walls of wonder, being awesome, skins, kaya scodelario, luca pasqualino, jack o'connell, nicholas hoult, max hewer, hannah murray,

and a number of other things...

shit-shit, with a rice-dish side.

25.3.10 at 12:03 PM

F U C K .

sorry for the profanity, but that's about all i can say right now. I AM PROBABLY THE MOST INCREDIBLY STUPID PERSON IN THE FLIPPING WORLD. i didn't think it through, honestly. i just picked up my phone and sent the text to him. a quick, barely serious confession of my... crush? yeah, well, maybe it's the small fact that WE DON'T TALK ANYMORE that made me flip out after. "hey, i like you, just thought you should know." TERRIBLY PATHETIC AND DISAPPOINTING IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY.
it's two days past that and i've already had two confrontations with him just today (plus the fact he's in one of my classes) and i just want to shoot myself, point blank, in the head.
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT ACCORDING TO AN ANONYMOUS OTHER, HE MIGHT HAVE USED TO LIKE ME? baha, sure. i really doubt that, and not even in the way that prepares myself for the fall. FUCK, I'M ALREADY FALLING.
the way i see it, i don't talk to him anymore, anyways, so no real friendship was put on the line. he doesn't talk to me now, but he never really did, either. so big deal. helps me move on, right?

so now i've got a science project to start, due tomorrow. not to mention two other projects due on monday. going to get to that eventually.

xx

it's been for ever.

10.3.10 at 11:57 AM

it's such a shame.

so much has kinda changed in the amount of time ive been gone and the weeks after my arrival. it woulpd be a fair amount of exposure if i brought it all to attention here, but ill disclose bits of it here and there.

firstly, i think its lame that teachers can mark so unfairly just because they dislike the class. not to be an annoying complainer, but i really cant believe my worst subject is english. honestly, that one test is like the bomb to my hiroshima. a sixty-nine on the test yielded an eightyfive percent average. not cool, miss. i mean, the other classes have "hard markers" but theyve got a higher class average than we do, negl.

next, i quit. this stupid three-sixty-five thing isnt working out for me. in fact, nothings working out for me. im mentally distressed, honestly. im getting tired of posting the exact same thing every day because its true: i miss you. i probably wont stop missing you for a while, or until i have a distraction, so i shouldnt write about it every day.

now, march break. friggin cant wait. i mean, that should say enough. for one thing, lost my cellphone, literally. my english class is full of self-rightious pieces of shit (or at least one) -- my teacher complains about it but doesnt bother to (oh, i dont know) change our seating arrangements or anything. istg, Jesus Christ probably likes me as much as my english teacher loves our class. and then theres the pricks i have to deal with seeing every single day. if i could just punch people in the face, id really enjoy it.

so ill cut off here, wondering if anyone even remembers this forsaken blog. im going to start writing again (i dont know if i feel like it, after english, though) and post my stuff here.
xx