read on to hear my broken thoughts and insanely vague descriptions.

DAY 3 — LETTER TO YOUR PARENTS.
dear parents,
i love you both no matter how much you make me want to gauge out my own eyes. you both have unreal expectations of me, but that's okay.


DAY 4 — LETTER TO YOUR SIBLING.
hey jordan,
i know you'll be a cool kid in the future, since you're pretty awesome now. i mean, look at you. you give flowers to older girls, watch doctor who with me, and know the chainsaw is the greatest weapon in the history of zombie apocalypses. sometimes, i'd like to introduce you to a weeping angel or a dalek, or maybe a hungry clown, but i secretly can't wait until you're that guy who dresses like a superhero for his civvies days or creates a worldwide phenomenon through a youtube video. i know you can do something great and i can't wait to see you grow and analyze you until i can detemine whether your brain is compatible with my robots.
love forever, you sweet little minion.

DAY 5 — LETTER TO YOUR DREAMS.
dear dreams,
you're on a roll! keep coming to me! maybe this is a little shipping fail, or an error in the post, but i do believe you're coming true now -- and it's better late than never! for the future, though, i want to stay happy, and i'd also like to get accepted into a brilliant university. i want to make a difference, some way or another.

DAY 6 — LETTER TO A STRANGER.
dear you,
i don't know you yet, but i know i'd like to meet you one day, unless you're a rapist or assaulter, then i'd very much NOT like to meet you. but i have a thing for meeting new, awesome people. alright, so make yourself known to me soon; we'll go gokarting and perhaps have a cupcake festival. we'll make this happen.

DAY 7 — LETTER TO YOUR EX-CRUSH.
hey mac,
i just want to say you were a huge waste of my time; not just because i liked you, but because i believed you really were better than this. do you know the number of times i just wished you'd have some guidance to do something right for once? or to just avoid what was wrong? but no, you've failed and disappointed me. i know you could be better, but it seems you've missed your chance. not with me; i never really cared to be with you, i just wanted to know you better cuz i saw some kind of potential in you. to be your own person.

well, i guess i'm a wishful thinker, huh?

"he passed up the chance of his life and hes gunna end up with some bitchy slut"
maybe a bit of wishful thinking on that account wouldn't hurt?

DAY 8 — LETTER TO YOUR FAVOURITE INTERNET FRIEND.
DEAR TAYLOR MOORES,
I'M WRITING THIS IN CAPS, BECAUSE WE ALWAYS SPEAK IN CAPS. ALPACAS ARE FUCKING ADORABLE AND WHAT HAPPENS IN CHERNOBYL STAYS IN CHERNOBYL. WE MET IN OMEGLE AND BONDED OVER OUR CANADIANITY. EVERYTHING WE DO IS SO CANADIAN, IT'S GREAT. SO ANYWAYS, HERE'S TO MANY RANDOM TEXTS ABOUT BUNK BEDS AND MSN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT TUMBLR TO COME.
P.S., YOU'RE TUMBLR FAMOUS <3

DAY 9 — LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU WISH YOU COULD MEET.
dear charles joseph mcdonnell, i think you're absolutely amazing. you really, truly are. i remember the first video i saw of you, your gorgeous face in the thumbnail causing me to click and watch -- with amusement -- how hilarious you are. i immediately made a day of going back to watch every one of your videos numerous times, making notes of everything i could about you (you live in bath, somerset and you were born on the first of october). i've even watched what i could of five awesome guys, and bought chameleon circuit songs off of itunes. you've made me instantly fall in love with the name charlie, even if you aren't a unicorn. i plan to move to england sometime soon and track you down, and when i do, you'll receive a very large hug. <3>her, so now it's no wonder that you'd always be with her. cuz she's so amazing and all. right then, as much as i miss you, i can't help but give up. i don't think i want to bother trying to talk to you now if you don't want to talk to me. guess we're good for nothing but smiles now; guess i'm finding a new favourite.

DAY 11 — LETTER TO A DECEASED PERSON YOU WISH TO TALK TO.
dear hitler,
when you decided you had this dream you wanted to fulfill, what went through your head? you are absolutely the greatest leader of all time and do not get nearly as much credit as you deserve. people need to understand there is no good or evil, just prejudice. you had idealistic perceptions and you chose to carry them out. you were ambitious and believed in uniformity.

hey munchkin.
you see this. well, maybe not, but i don't care.
so, yeah, i can't believe how much time i spent liking other guys, honestly. i didn't even talk to you last semester until the christmas concert. we were on and off talkers; started noticing i probably liked you when you gave me william nathaniel sebastian the third. ("you give some pretty kickass names," you texted me. "your future children are gunna be lucky" it made me laugh) i was so positively angry when people snatched him from my bag and teased me -- issued a rather nice roundhouse, if i do say so myself.
i say this a lot, but four days is all it took to get me obsessed; there are so many reasons for me to love you. especially bones. i hope you find him, really. honestly, truly do.
ffs i think i like you.

You don't have to do anything. You don't even have to say anything. If you just sit there, and smile, you should know that for that moment, you lit up my world.

xx



The last people you kissed.

[What is their name?]
christian andre micallef


[Where did you meet them?]
music class, existentially, but i had only started speaking to him during the christmas concert. we were on and off, communication wise, then in one week BAM!

[What was your age when you first met?]
fourteen years old :3

[Is this person older than you?]
no, and not taller than me, either, if you're about to ask that..

[When was the last time you saw this person?]
well, i saw him today around ten, but didn't have the nerve to talk to him or anything.

[Do you miss them?]
all the time. can't wait til exams are done, so he won't be studying so much.

[Do you have nicknames for each other?]
nuuu, but he's my munchkin and that is all. depending on the situation, he sometimes calls me karate kid, missy, miss-english-major and such. LOL AND SWEETUMS, but that was a one time thing i'd say < / 3 [Have you seen this person cry?] no.. (: [Do you tell them a lot about your life?] well, yeah. :D i tell him a lot of stuff all the time. [Do they have a job?] nope, but he's planning on a summer one. [Would they date you?] definitely not. :* [Do you like them a lot?] abnormally so. like honestly, I FREAKING ADORE THIS KID. he'd shoot me if i told him that, probably (:
xx



recently, i've come to the realization that people will never live up to expectations i may have of them, and i am secretly intolerant to them all. i absolutely detest some of these people at times, and they probably wouldn't expect it. there is at least one thing - one flaw - i hate about everyone, and when i'm alone, i'm filled with dread at the thought of spending time with them. perhaps i'm a cynical bitch - no, i am a bitch - but i can't help but feel completely apathetic to you all.
honestly, i wonder if i really give a shit sometimes.
but this does not, in any way, apply to meredith or munchkin. for some strange reason, they are probably my only exceptions to this, the only people i can withstand forever.
xx


i used to be afraid that when i finally get a relationship, i'd grow restless and want that thrill from the chase again. i didn't want a relationship at all, if it meant i was solely devoted. but now, here i am; it's like i'm crushing on a guy all over again, except i can hug and kiss him.. but is it weird that i still have the insecurities of a crush? like, jesus, i'm amazed he still talks to me; amazed he hasn't gotten tired of me yet. and if he has, that he still seems to like me...
THIS ISN'T A NEGATIVE BLOG, I SWEAR. i remember when i used to practically swoon just from talking to someone -- i still do, but the thought of him gives me butterflies. i was totally flustered today, but i really just like being around him. i don't know how people haven't noticed him as perfect yet..
i mean, besides the fact he's a midget.
(:
xx

Rules:

• Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.

• Post the first definition it gives you.

1. Your name? erica c:

The most beautiful queens to ever walk the face of this earth...women named erica are fierce by nature and generally quite sassy.

LOLOL SOUNDS LIKE XAVIER WROTE IT.
2. Your age? fifteen
Fifteen is the age in a boy's life where everything sucks. Period. Your body turns against you in every way possible. Pimples, voice cracks, terrible body odor, unnecessary hair, constant horniness, and greasy skin and hair. Hormones run wild throughout your body producing an array of emotions you can't even understand let alone deal with. Meanwhile, you have to deal with high school. Projects, homework, hard subjects, sadistic teachers, social crap to sort out, finding allies; they are very hard and common things there. Also, all the girls you meet at school seem to flourishing into beautiful women. Their wonderful breasts jiggle and taunt you, although you can't have them. The mean ones make fun of you, the nice ones try to humor you, and if you find an absolutely great one that's willing to be your gal, good luck getting the money to pay for her. Businesses won't hire you for a year or so even if you did have the time to work a shitty job. And there is no relief from this hell that is your life. Doing drugs or alcohol is a temporary release, if you can find, pay for, and not get caught with it. You're just barely smart enough not to commit suicide or run away from home. And you know that porn you're always watching will eventually get you in trouble. All you can do is wait it out. Also, 15 is the fifteenth number from zero

LMFAO ok
3. One of your friends?

A Nicole is someone who is omnipotent. A Nicole is gorgeous, intelligent, mysterious, witty, hilarious, out-going, creative and seductive, yet she is also tough, street-smart, experienced, brave, enduring, and mainly a wonderful mother. Nothing and nobody can compare to a Nicole in any aspect. Mess with a Nicole, or her family, and you will regret ever being born.

Women named Meredith are enigmatic. They are extremely intelligent but have a tendency to act amazingly stupid. They have loads of factual knowledge but little knowledge of the "ways of the world." There two varieties of Merediths. One variety encompasses the Merediths who use their intelligence to act pure and innocent but soon the truth of their scandalous side comes out. The other variety of Merediths are truly innocent. Decipher which type is which at your own peril.

4. What should you be doing? religion
The biggest lie in human history. It has been responsible for more deaths throughout human history than all other unnatural causes combined. For a thousand years the Church was a tyrannical dictatorship that used religion to control the uneducated masses. Free your minds and come into the 21st century

5. Favorite color? blue or peter pan

The hue of the portion of the visible spectrum lying between green and indigo, evoked in a human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 420 to 490 nanometers.

generally, a Peter Pan is someone who will never grow up.

6. Birthplace? toronto

The largest city in Canada. It's known for it's combination of great neighbourhood vibe, cosmopolitan flare, and horribly atrocious downtown architecture. (Unlike most major cities, it experienced it's big economic boom in the sixties, go figure.) Otherwise a peach of a town, with great nightlife (and with boozecans up the wazoo, for you after hours folks), and wickedly georgeous people. So fuck off.

7. Month of your birth? may

may is the month where teachers think that they can control a classroom but really nothing gets done and no one cares about their grades anymore. usually this happens because summer break is only 30 days away

xx

Is there someone you wanna date?
a kid i call munchkin -- OH WAIT~

Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?
he's a douchebag.

Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
lmao, depends who we're talking about - i don't think i've broken more than two hearts :3

What's your favorite color?
bluuue or #66cd00 (:

Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
i'm not too sure i am..

Last missed call?
"1 416 224 0200" < WHOMEVER THAT IS.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up today?
checked my phone and laughed out loud. "good morning sweetums" to you too ;]

Do you have a best friend?
yessiree

Do you like vitamin water?
i like the black one and the raspberry one.

Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
yeah, but can't remember which person that is.. or maybe i can.

What do you think of people who have sex before marriage?
i really don't give a fuck.

Do you get along with your parents?
no.

Are you more independent or dependent?
pretty independent, but also pretty dependent, i say.

Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
aha, yeah.

What is your favorite fruit?
raspberries and pomegranates.
<3

Who was the last person you were mad at?
dad. still am. whattajerk!

Does anyone love you?
ofc not, i'm erica, right?
loljk.

Do you love anybody?
very much so.

Can you imagine what your life would be like if you still had your ex-best friend in your life the way you had before?
*sticks toothpick under toenail and kicks wall*

Who is one person that you think was the worst thing to happen to you honestly?
i'd really say that on the internet, right? well, probably mac, tbh.

How far away does your furthest relative live from you?
philippines.

Do you have any memories that other people had to let you know about because your memory had failed you?
yes, yes, yes.

Think about the last person who really hurt you, what is something they do that you can't understand?
SO OVERLY CRITICAL LIKE ASFKJSKLJGRSHIT.

Is there anything you are trying to teach yourself?
walk straight. write well. stop being annoying.

Has there ever been a situation to happen in your life that made you question whether people really can change?
definitely!

Have you ever managed to break your own heart?
LMAO WHAT
WOULDN'T THAT BE LIKE TAKING YOUR OWN VIRGINITY?
LOLOL WHAT

When you have money what does it usually get spent on?
bubble tea, gifts.

What were you doing the last time that you were outside somewhere?
i was at a walmart in buffalo criticizing the fat people.

Are you someone who handles their feelings well or is it the complete opposite deal for you?
idek, people tell me i'm emotional. i'm kinda abrupt and then regretful, then detatched and then i repeat the process.

How much effort would it take for someone to become close to you?
as long as they're not total creeps who think they're going to be my insta-friend.
like that creep who's always like "o0o0o u & him r sew cut <3 <3 <3" and i'm always like "stfu cunt"

Who of all your friends always has stories from shit happening to them?
this question doesn't make any sense to me.

Do you ever make the mistake of saying things that you probably should have thought twice about saying?
yes, omg -.- then i regret it and go mute.

With regards to your cellular do you use the picture mail option a lot?
nope. i get charged :c

When was the last time you had deja vu type shit going on for something?
we were in english and lebko and adam were quoting again. omg.

Do you feel as though where a person is raised will have an affect on how they are as a person?
YES.

The last time you had someone laughing at what had you done?
i don't remember.

Is there anyone who you usually talk to everyday?
yessireeeeee :D

What is something that happened, if anything, that changed your mood for the day for any amount of time?
lectures in the car.
"i'm not going to waste money on putting you into community college. if you want to work in a kfc and be happy, you better leave my house right now, then i can put all the money i'm saving for your education towards a cruise and enjoy my life."
thnx dad luv u 4eva~

Is there any hairstyle that you really want to try having in particular?
OMG CRIMPED HUUURRR FTW
OR MAYB ILL FOLLOW PADAWAN STILE
N LEAVE A SUPAHFCKINLONG BRAID @ DA BCK
loln.

When was the last time you had a really bad feeling about something?
i have that frequently - i think too much.

Where were you the last time you saw a member of your preferred sex who was really attractive?
:3 aside from munchkin (lol hawt stuff, concentrated fr srs)

Is there anything that you're letting go of at this point?
...i'm not holding anything? no rly, i'm typing. there's nothing to let go rn. i'll let you know when i'm holding a glass or s/t.

Are you someone who holds to their word?
depends with what. i never expose secrets - tell me you like someone and i'm not going to be all ~~ when you're around them; that stuff.

When was the last time you had found out really sad news?
idek, and i'd rather not try and remember this sad news, thanks.

What is something that you really want to do before you aren't able to that you haven't shared with anyone?
ok what. you lost me at "do before you aren't" punctuation saves lives, doll.

(.1 Do you have a boyfriend or a crush?
booooyfriend.

(.2 How long have you been with/liked him?
shit, liked him since... ok, i've loved him since i started talking to him a lot, i just didn't realize i liked him until early may. aaand we started going out 'round the time of my birthday. don't remember which exact day or time tho..
/girlfriendfail

(.3 How often do you talk to him?
every single day.
if not, i assume he hates me.
LOL.

(.4 What did you think of him at first?
i honestly thought he was a dwarf. someone told me that the other day, "i remember when you told me you thought he was a dwarf or something" whoops. :')

(.5 Is he uber-adorable?
AHAHAHA OMG YESSSSSS
PLEASE, SOMEONE AGREE WITH ME ON THIS
THIS KID
IS LIKE, AMAAZING.
<3

(.6 Is it more than looks?
HE'S LIKE A FCKING SUPERHERO AND NOBODY KNOWS IT. HE'S JUST THAT GREAT.

(.7 What's his mother's name?
what.
valerie.
he thinks i'm a creep now.
thnx.

(.8 What's his birthday?
november 4th

(.9 What did you get him for his birthday?
i didn't really know him well around his birthday, BUT I WILL GET HIM SOMETHING AND IT WILL BE GREAT.

(.10 How long was the longest conversation you had with him?
we talk a lot. (:

Your Type (This or That style)
(.11 Bad boy or Sensitive boy
NEITHER. OMG. NO.

(.12 Jock or Nerd
NERD.

(.13 Skater or Hippie
hhhh skater -.-
OR HIPSTER, ACTUALLY.
HIPSTER > SKATER.

(.14 Facial Hair or Clean Shaven
clean shaven.

(.15 Stupid but Good-Looking or Smart but Ugly
uh, what about the mannerisms and such? i find those kinds of personality traits greater than intelligence or looks..

(.16 Glasses or Braces
either.

(.17 Bad Dancer or Bad Singer
bad dancer.

(.18 Super Sweet Boy or Asshole
super sweet, you dumbass.

(.19 Player or Drug User
player. anything is better than drugs.

(.20 Gay guy (who hasn't come out yet) or Abusive guy
gay guy, you homophobe.

(.21 When was your first kiss (with a boy)?
last sunday (:

(.22 How many boys have kissed since?
la la la one.

(.23 What's the farthest you've gone with a boy?
kiss :D

(.24 Do you regret it?
only because
1) i missed
2) i'm awkward
and 3) i just regret things naturally

(.25 Ever did something stupid with a boy while drunk?
--

(.26 Ever done body shots with a boy?
--

(.27 Ever gone out of your way to see a crush?
hhh, yeah -.-

(.28 Have you had your heart broken into itty bitty pieces?
no.

(.29 Did the mean boy stomp on the pieces after?
loln, wtf are you snorting?

(.30 What's the most you've ever done to impress a boy?
:/ idk.

Your Perfect Guy (bold all that apply)
(.31 Blonde Hair
(.32 Black Hair
(.33 Brown Hair
(.34 Red Hair
(.35 Unnaturally Colored Hair
(.36 Green Eyes
(.37 Blue Eyes
(.38 Brown Eyes
(.39 Hazel Eyes
(.40 Tall
(.41 Average Height
(.41 Short
(.43 Muscley
(.44 In Shape
(.45 Skinny
(.46 Stocky
(.47 Fat
(.48 Shops at A&F
(.49 Shops at Hot Topic
(.50 Shops at Pacsun
(.51 Shops anywhere
(.52 Plays sports
(.53 Plays an instrument
(.54 Writes poetry
(.55 Writes stories
(.56 Has a job
(.57 Gets good grades
(.58 Smokes pot
(.59 Very Religious
(.60 Has a car



holy shit
my parents
are like
giving birth
they are
pissing off
at me
so much.
omg.
they found
the birthday
pictures with
vickie and adam
and omg
my dad
just told
me that
i am
not allowed to have people over anymore
"DID YOU KNOW YOUR GRANDMOTHER HAD A BABY AT FIFTEEN? IT'S COMMON SENSE YOU DON'T INVITE BOYS TO OUR HOUSE. THEY WERE KISSING AND HUGGING -- UNDER MY ROOOF?!"
dude, that was some srs insanity wolf stuff right there.
:/

funny thing is i'm not having another birthday party again so :D
and they're not home most of summer so (:
and i usually don't mind too much
and i kinda just spent an awesome day with my boyfriend
aaaaand all is great c:


i mean, my mum thinks it would be in my best interest to break up, but that's not even a thought in my mind 8D
holy shit my life just got super-dee-duper-dee-awkward.
xx


The sun hung high in the sky, barely visible beneath the treetops but streamed in ubiquitous rays wherever it could. My hand never left Hermia’s as I guided her over logs, under branches and around bushes; I was experiences with walking through this large forest, as it was the path I took to my aunt’s home. I would venture into the woods so frequently during the pleasant months that every nook and cranny was embedded in my mind as some may memorize all the small and large roads about a neighbourhood. The forest was the neighbourhood of my childhood, in essence.

But as the sun set – unnoticed due to the sweat that dripped down my face and my girlfriend’s little winces at bugs that buzzed and crawled around us – everything looked different, my focus waivered with my growing long for rest. I tried to motivate myself with thoughts of our destination: the cooking I had grown up with, the room I played in, the bed I would finally sleep in again – even the patio, where my aunt had made me lemonade so many times before. Alas, when even the novelty of that wore off (quicker than I would have initially expected) I had to stop.

Hermia turned to face me with her own wariness hidden behind her doe eyes. “Hey, I think we should rest a bit,” I proposed with a half smile. “To be honest, I forgot which way we should be going... At least, I should remember once the sun rises again. Alright?”

She hesitated, looking around at the clearing we were in, before answering. “Okay, but find some better place to lie down,” her nose wrinkled as she swatted at a mosquito on her leg. “You know how much I hate bugs.”

I grinned wide and nudged her side. “Well... You know you could just lie down on me – I’ll be sure to protect you from all the nasty little bugs that might creep onto you.” I ran a hand through her hair, mimicking the possibility of such.

She laughed and pushed me away with a smirk. “As if I could trust you more, right?” Looking around carefully, she dropped the sweater in her arms and positioned her bag as a pillow. I did the same, setting myself up comfortably beneath a tree.

I waited until she was sound before sleeping, too – not so much work as trying to stay awake was. In no time, I was absorbed in a dream world much like the reality Hermia and I were destined to face. I stood beneath a large oak in a tuxedo and looked down the part between rows of chairs to see my beautiful girl in a white dress. I smiled to her, but she was moving awfully slowly – surely she would be by my side by now? It was as if the time in my world stood still, and in a flash, the bright, beautiful day was replaced by the still night.

“Lysander? Lysander, are you alright?”

A voice prompted my eyesight to focus like the lens of a camera, and the face my gaze fixed on was something to behold. It was like looking up onto the visage of an angel, my face heating up and my heart was beating like the hooves of a dozen fine race horses.

“I’m definitely better, now that I see you,” Her face twitched with confusion at my words. “My God, Helena, you’re so wonderful and gorgeous!”

Her cheeks were now tinged a vermillion shade as she backed away from me and stood up. I stumbled to my feet as she spoke. “What are you talking about, Ly? You love Hermia and she loves you!”

Truth be told, I really didn’t know where I was going with this, all I knew was that at the moment, I really – irrevocably and unexplainably – fancied Helena over Hermia. “Love her? I regret the time I was with her instead of you! No, I’m pretty sure I love you.”

She scoffed and turned a vicious glare to me. “Wow, what did I do to deserve this? Don’t you think I feel bad enough, knowing Demetrius left me? You really feel the need to make fun of me, too?” She turned and started to walk away from me, waving an arm in the air. “Gosh, you’re such a jerk! I really thought you were different but I guess you’re all just the same!”

She pushed past the thick bush and slowly left my sight, leaving me to stand there like a bumbling idiot with my heart trampled in the soil. I was struck dumb, completely amazed, and somewhere through the shock, I found myself able to run after Helena without a second thought.




really, i'm such a devilish beast, i mustn't outdo myself.

no, that is not a replacement.
yes, i will still be on this.
xx

there's a good reason for my lack of postage in the past few days, i swear. what's that reason?
i am happy.
no more depressing posts from me for a while; well, rants (like this post will be) but that's about it, as far as my unhappiness should go.

but istg, in just one week, i don't think i've ever been happier. i think it only took you that long to make so many of my wishes come true. you're absolutely amazing and now matter how cheesy this is, i don't know what i would do without you. omg, really. if you could see me read your texts, you'd be amazed at the shades of red i turn. you tell me such sweet things, i just want to smother you. i'm your first girlfriend, but you seem so experienced in making me blush furiously; you know all the right things to say. you tell me i'm a priority, that you really like me, that i'm in your heart, that you can't stand seeing me sad. i can't help but cry thinking of all the things you do for me. shit, i'm talking to you right now and i'm crying. i feel so guilty, grateful and i can't help thinking about what i did right, you know? but then you learn i'm crying and you spaz trying to make me better - why are so many people lonely?

"Honestly, I'm the lucky one. I thank God every day for the angel he sent me and I cry because I'm so in love."

-sixbillionsecrets.com

and then those people who have the nerve to tell me shit like i can do better - do they have a right mind?

xx