read on to hear my broken thoughts and insanely vague descriptions.
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ericamay, 25may1995, single forever, devoted to peter pan
charlieissocoollike, doctor who, peter pan, you me at six, i see stars, andy oliver, devin oliver, ribbons, bows, drummers, bright colours, black and white contrast, people who smile a lot, laughing, beats, rhythms, being good at something, fireworks, writing, sketching, details, internet, photoshop, graphic design, coding, paint, crayons, paper, plain goldfish, the colours green and blue, prince phillip, princess aurora, tinkerbell, neverland, disneyland, disneyworld, crush the turtle, chemistry, storybook romance, arctic monkeys, britain, irish accents, every accent, scottish boys, skinny boys, pale boys, collarbones, freckles, gingers, photobooths, madina lake, billy idol, chocolate chip cookies, toffee, tiny marshmallows, hot cocoa, good memories, bloodrushes, laughing, singers, musicians, good headphones, punching the backs of car seats while listening to hardcore music in parking lots, hugs, kisses, winter, sweaters, hoodies, scarves, snowflakes, eyelashes, pretty eyes, dark hair, blonde hair, straight hair, wavy hair, offensive humours, people who don't take things seriously, heated debates, awkward moments, having private concerts home alone, red pandas, sharks, weasels, minxes, puppydogs, kittycats, post-it notes, caring reminders, strawberries, raspberries, william beckett, matt smith, karen gillan, david tennant, alex turner, joe brooks, noah and the whale, mumford and sons, los campesinos, french people, foreign languages, magic tricks, illusions, photographs, macros, doodling people i know, doodling people i wish i knew, pens that flow smoothly, shortbread cookies, tapping my feet, high fives, pokemon, laughing so hard i cry, being told people love me, winning, swedish fish, candies, neil patrick harris, nerimon, frezned, danisnotonfire, alexisonfire, billy talent, taking back sunday, john gomez, brian dales, alex pettyfer, logan lerman, tumblr, squareenix, old names, music class, good friends, late-night confessions, hanging out anywhere, eccentricity, spontaneous people, people with good memories, being unforgotten, lyricists, air heads, scissors, kicking, unicorns, rainbows, miss rainicorn, adventure time with finn and jake, flapjack, we came as romans, architects, joy division, two door cinema club, emma watson, george craig, emma watson and george craig together, the hoosiers, old photos, chalk drawing, graffiti, skateboarders, bmx riders, comic fanatics, superheros, guys, candy in tin cases, pastel stars, pointless wishing, sweet dreams, morning messages, text conversations, honey on toast, apple jelly, internet memes, advil, motion city soundtrack, vampire weekend, rolo tomassi, people named connor, people named sebastian, william, james, oliver, owen, eoin, alexander, joshua, andrew, aaron, christopher, jackson, hunter, and the like, the afterlife kids, downloading music, new downloads, video games, rpgs, shooter games, screaming, all forgotten, arcade fire, the asteroids galaxy tour, kick ass, aaron johnson, christopher mintz-plasse, devon werkshire, thick rimmed glasses, flickr, hipsters, cute kids, never growing up, beastie boys, we are the ocean, blink182, chameleon circuit, john green, hank green, paper towns, the perks of being a wallflower, lewis carroll, c.s. lewis, absolute brightness, the chronicles of narnia, lockets, trinkets, mimes, golden pocketwatches, nifty antiquities, halloween, sewing, the click five, parkway drive, cold war kids, obscurities, confessions, bookstores, candy stores, inside jokes, walls of wonder, being awesome, skins, kaya scodelario, luca pasqualino, jack o'connell, nicholas hoult, max hewer, hannah murray,
and a number of other things...
----
----
---
i have too many awkward situations to recall just one.
i'm not proud of a lot of things.
and that last argument i had, not parent related, was probably...
i don't really remember. hah, what a waste.
anyways, i figure i'm just going to stop pursuing people (easier said than done, man; need to stop getting attached) since this isn't working out. actually, it's never worked out. both times i've chased, i ended up in a month-long relationship (at the price of a friendship) and -- well, of course, i don't talk to julian much anymore.
i think i'll also stop getting to know boys overseas who end all their messages with "x" or call me babe, because that's really fucking creepy.
honestly, off the top of my head i really couldn't name anyone because as soon as someone is annoying on my facebook, i either delete them or block them from my newsfeed. i've got nearly 300 people blocked, man. shit's annoying.
omg bringing this ds to school is probably the smartest thing i've done in agessgjlskejglekjglerg
SUCH A GOOD DAY OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
UNO UNO UNO UNO
OKAY
my brother's ds i xl,my cellphone, papers of difference kinds, french truffles (chocolate) and my laptop
I REALLY HATE UNRELIABILITY.
i don't think we'll get along very well.
I DO NOT EVER ENJOY HAVING ACADEMIC FREELOADERS IN MY GROUP.
i'm merely tolerating you at the moment.
YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING OH MY GOD.
we simply do not see eye-to-eye.
SOMEONE NOT EVEN IN OUR GROUP PARTICIPATED MORE ON OUR PROJECT THAN YOU.
you really must learn how to take on responsibilities.
IT'S A WONDER MY DAD TOLD ME UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE WORK AT McDONALD'S.
you should expand on your skills before you can be credible for something useful.
CLASS IS NOT A PLACE FOR MAKING COVERS/DISCUSSING TUMBLR/PLOTTING HOW TO WHORE YOURSELF OUT.
please, love, there's a time and a place for everything.
YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO DO SOME SOUL-SEARCHING OR SOMETHING.
i believe a spiritual vacation is in order.
but really how come i'm the atheist who attends more of religion class than you do yet you're another one of those "reblag if u f0llow g0d~" filipinos.
am i missing something
what
wat
wot
miranda kerr.
do i really need to explain this logic or......................
being famous isn't determined by the number of followers you have, but how quality you are. like, if you have a name/url that someone can just type and instantly you know who they're talking about you know
not those lame follow-for-follow-reblog-only blogs or the ones that post photos of themselves etc
to be tumblr famous means you are not shit.
I. i want to change the fact that i'm so independent. i need to let myself admit to being hurt instead of just holding it in like i don't give a fuck.
II. i need to stop saying whatever pops into my head -- because it's probably better just staying there.
III. i sincerely want to be the one that some decent boy likes. i'm done chasing after other boys -- i'm too lazy and it compromises my life too much.
IV. i want to stop avoiding people. i wish i was friends with my ex because he was one of the sweetest guys i've ever known and if i hadn't felt closeted and started talking to him less, i have a feeling we'd at least still be friends. god i miss him so much, but referring to point number I, i can't really do anything about it.
V. i need to change feeling futile. i've wasted 5775 days of living achieving absolutely nothing. i need to stop planning these things and start making a change. i want to live a life in which i can look back to every single day with a smile, knowing i did something awesome.
dumb bird.
okay my msn is fucking freezing again so i can't post an actual ctrl+v but it was basically just chatting with some guy in england or whatever who kept nudging me when i wouldn't answer and ugh man he wasn't even hot.
http://www.globalnews.ca/1402775.bin?size=sw380nws
lololol
okay so from now on i'll post links to my writing pieces so you can see the graphics i've made and the coding i've done. basically, it all looks nicer there.
--------------------------
CHRISTOPHER WALTER CLARENCE+ANDREW TIMOTHY CLARENCE
THE CLARENCE TWINS
ROLE: THE TWIN LOST BOYS FROM PETER PAN
LINK
BASICALLY:
peace in neverland has been achieved: the natives have coerced both sides to resolve their differences, etc. basically, the entire "story/roleplay" theme is to document their lives after so much history has changed. at the present time, the natives have decided to hold a celebration (to celebrate the 12th moon cycle since the war or s/t lol idk) and everyone is invited.
* all graphics are made by me. photos are copyright to the model. coding was all done by me. all writing is mine.
awesome.
lack thereof.
uh that's basically every picture i've ever taken
if i fix my hair it's only to fix my fringe or whatever
but i rarely rarely do my makeup because i don't know how
love me
- get in the shower (currently standing in bathroom in robe with laptop on counter lalal) ☑
- work on graphics on photoshop
- work the graphics into coding
- finish coded+graphic formats [ 1/5 done ]
- in between that, eat lunch
- feed brother
- get changed etc
- go to cinema
and that should be my day
all the money i spent on useless shit that i could have saved up and had a fortune man
if there's one thing i hate, it's being called wrong when i'm more or less right.
another thing? when people use terms they don't understand and use them wrongly.
and i'm noticing you do that a lot. you try to trap people with big words that aren't any more useful than string shots of spider webs. just distractions from the lack of usefulness.
right now, you're confusing your terms. i try to clarify and you don't cooperate. i try again and you call me wrong. no, because i don't talk about things i don't understand. i don't just pull words out of thin air and pretend i know what they mean. i won't deny that i used to be really drawn to your intelligence, but your half-assed attempt at a way with words is pissing me off now.
somewhat unrelated (yet related by a deeper bond) consider this analogy:
you're given $20 to spend on food; normally, you'd spend it a day at a time -- or even less than that! -- and and up with a lot of money for a longer amount of time. in this circumstance, though, you don't have that much time; you spend $2 the first day, then rush -- spending $5 every other day. then, when you've run out of time, you realize you've got no money left to spend, and you probably don't want to buy food anymore anyways; you'd rather spend your next allowance on something different.
that's the best way for me to sum up how i feel right now, of course substituting the money for affection/adrmiration/attraction and relation to the food as if it were him. i have spent so much more time striving to befriend you within the time i had that i ended up hung up in your tangled web of confusion -- i had no knowledge of my progress. and now, now that i know more or less where i stand, i'm so tired of trying that i'm free to cut myself loose without even looking back. i won't think of this as wasted time, per se, for you do happen to be a kindred spirit, but right now i cannot stand how your geniality wilts now that i've seen the light.
wow this blog has some sort of garden theme, what with all the flower and spider references lol i wonder if anyone reading this will catch that and find it poetic or something but i enjoyed writing all that down.
Friends and Lovers
Although they are not loners in the traditional sense, May 25 natives don't have a strong need for the company of others. Love and romance can be difficult because they refuse to give up their independence in order to form a relationship. A potential mate must be prepared to play second fiddle to career goals a great deal of the time.
Children and Family
May 25 individuals often seek to break free from the restraints of family life at an early age. These people are extremely self-sufficient. If they opt for parenthood, they tend to be distant. They can be affectionate yet may be preoccupied with career considerations.
Dreams and Goals
Though their primary goals tend to be professional ones, May 25 individuals have other, more fundamental goals in mind. Their fierce struggle for success often embodies an "I'll show them" attitude, but they may actually be trying to erase the memory of hard times when they were young.
i don't allow myself to actually get drunk. i mean, it's not that i'm a responsible, designated driver type person, i just don't see any point in drinking aside from occasions. at events, where i've planned getting home and past my parents and that, i'm down to drink. the thing is, though, i don't like letting my guard down. i like to maintain a relatively classy pretense.
absence makes the heart grow fonder / fondness makes the absence longer /
length loses my interest / i'm a realist / i'm insatiable
and really that's what worries me / i feel like i should / hurt
we both know your heart's not in it
and i taught myself the only way to vaguely get along in love / is to like the other slightly less than you get in return
he would be caucasian with dark hair and blue/green/gray eyes. he'd be largely unnoticed by society as far as appearance goes, but he would be handsome. he'd wear hoodies and jumpers and jeans. he'd be nerdy and indie. he'd be awkward in the endearing way and never fail to make me smile. he'd remind me why life is good and teach me to savour the present. and when i'm not with him, i'd wish to be. he'd be sweet and make me blush. he'd have a nice smile and he'd give me great hugs. he'd have an interest in some of my favourite bands and interests, but he'd be a very moral guy. he'd be understanding and forgiving and caring -- and when he snaps, he'd have a reason to. he'd hug me and give me pecks of kisses and butterflies. he'd remind me of autumn and make me enjoy that season more. he'd be quiet and conscientious yet able to put up with my insolence. he'd be honest; he wouldn't just say what i'd want to hear.
he'd be the type of guy who could defy all the ideals i've already set, appearance-wise, and just make me want him more.
i bite my lips until they bleed. i clean dirt from under my nails. idk man define disgusting.
SHAG - denzel, jacob (theavengersinitiative), guerillawarfare, kungfukitty, kiril, omg
MARRY - chris (if he wasn't gay), AARON FUCKING PRESLEY, denzel heehee, BENEDICT OMG
KILL - uh idk probably whomever mandem is right now lul.
- what if i can't convince my parents to let me go to the arctic monkeys gig?
- what if the tickets are too expensive?
- i don't want to be alone all the time
- what if my academics won't be enough to get me into a good university?
- what if my dad loses his job?
- what if my parents actually divorce?
- what if i never get to go to europe?
- what if i end up a social fuckup?
i'd rather be stuck with someone i hate, since ten years with someone i fancy and i'd get fed up with them from heat exhaustion and my own natural temper. but if i already hate someone i'm stuck with, our relationship couldn't get any worse.
i lie about a lot, admittedly. it comes naturally. sometimes it's like, "if they ask one more time i really will tell the truth" but they never ask again so i get away with the lie.
de·sen·si·tize (d
-s
n
s
-t
z
)
probably the fact that i'm nobody's best friend. i mean, nobody would be really badly impacted if i died, you know. and not only that but i'll probably be alone all my scholarly life anyways just because nobody i find attractive finds me attractive and anyone who ever finds me attractive probably has a personality trait or something i really don't like. so yeah, my general indifference to the world.
i think the last time i went out (that counts) was when i went to nicole's birthday party. i came a little early and it was awkward since her out-of-school friends that i only somewhat know (but have nothing in common with) were there too and it was intimidating. so i gave her my present and she enjoyed it like she is and then kim came and everything was okay and then we were all in the basement and people acknowledged that they met me before (relief) and we watched the ring and then more people i knew came and we ate food and by the time dom and zach and that crew came, i was more comfortable. so yeah then andrea was distributing blue vex which was really good (i would've liked it more if it was cold since it was lukewarm) and yeah then i had my first vodka mix which was okay (again, better if cold) but then the next one i got was a weird peach/mango/vodka mix and tasted shit (especially since it wasn't cold) and ugh so i drank half and gave it to, like, martin or something. yeah somewhere in between, brett finally came but short after all the drinks were hidden because the parents suspected shit and so the poor irish got nothing lal. then nicole was totally drunk and told me something i couldn't have guessed and aw poor thing but yeah we all ended up coaxing her to near-sobriety and at the end of the night we were all in the basement-bedroom just chilling there with the drunkards, then brett and i walked home at 'round 11 or half-past. then i got home and mum and dad were like how was it and i was like good good.
like:
how my hair looks short, how my curly hair looks when long, how silky my straight hair feels, how "perfect" my teeth are despite the short amount of time i've worn braces, my not-too-tall not-too-short height, how my legs look in tights, how thin my arms are, being skinny, my collarbones, my hipbones, my bones in general, my eyes, my lips, my long eyelashes.
dislike:
my thighs, how my bare legs look, my skin in general, acne, my scalp, my feet, my fingers, my hair when it's air-dried and short, my armpits, my stomach, my knobby knees, my bony neck,my teeth when i smile, how i look when i laugh, my face in photos, my neutral expression (lol meredith), my face shape, my complexion, how boring my eyes are, how dull my hair is, my eyebrows, my huge nose.
I. investment, bitchesssssss. high rollin' niggas like me need some mutual funding dunnoe.
II. uh pay for university (tuition if american school, lodging if english)
III. i would pursue the items on my fashion checklist
IV. not donating any of this shit my nigga
V. buy fundamental comics so my future library will be a serene place
clean slate.
i twitch a lot and shudder like crazy. i "whisper-sing". i talk to myself in really convincing accents. i talk to myself, period. i do random crunches. when i'm home alone i sing passionately. i narrate my life in my head using a clockwork orange's alex for voice and slang. actually, i experiment with different narrator voices.
i stumbled upon trisha on my way home and we ended up walking home together and catching up and then she got locked out of her house so she came over and chilled which was really quite fun c:
i also found out that psychological treatment is covered by ohip so i just need to find a good time to ask my mum to take me for a checkup and everything will be great.
boys:
I. when guys make really old, stupid jokes.
II. when they're drowning in the popular culture (slang, tv, music, etc)
III. "omg he's so cute" guy: "uh no he's a FAGGOT."
IV. homophobia
V. when they can't understand what i'm saying
girls:
I. they have such high expectations.
II. "i love you -- no homo!"
III. when they like ugly, burly men
IV. when they like things to make guys think they're totally one of a kind (ex. first person shooters, megan fox, sports cars, etc)
V. "i don't wanna boy i wanna man and i want him to hold me tight and never let me go and always come back to me after i period all over him because i'm such a high maintenance premenstrual bitch" etc etc
this layout and the icon was made by chapstick with colors from colourlovers. do not remove/alter the credits section in any way, thank you.
ericamay, 25may1995, single forever, devoted to peter pan
charlieissocoollike, doctor who, peter pan, you me at six, i see stars, andy oliver, devin oliver, ribbons, bows, drummers, bright colours, black and white contrast, people who smile a lot, laughing, beats, rhythms, being good at something, fireworks, writing, sketching, details, internet, photoshop, graphic design, coding, paint, crayons, paper, plain goldfish, the colours green and blue, prince phillip, princess aurora, tinkerbell, neverland, disneyland, disneyworld, crush the turtle, chemistry, storybook romance, arctic monkeys, britain, irish accents, every accent, scottish boys, skinny boys, pale boys, collarbones, freckles, gingers, photobooths, madina lake, billy idol, chocolate chip cookies, toffee, tiny marshmallows, hot cocoa, good memories, bloodrushes, laughing, singers, musicians, good headphones, punching the backs of car seats while listening to hardcore music in parking lots, hugs, kisses, winter, sweaters, hoodies, scarves, snowflakes, eyelashes, pretty eyes, dark hair, blonde hair, straight hair, wavy hair, offensive humours, people who don't take things seriously, heated debates, awkward moments, having private concerts home alone, red pandas, sharks, weasels, minxes, puppydogs, kittycats, post-it notes, caring reminders, strawberries, raspberries, william beckett, matt smith, karen gillan, david tennant, alex turner, joe brooks, noah and the whale, mumford and sons, los campesinos, french people, foreign languages, magic tricks, illusions, photographs, macros, doodling people i know, doodling people i wish i knew, pens that flow smoothly, shortbread cookies, tapping my feet, high fives, pokemon, laughing so hard i cry, being told people love me, winning, swedish fish, candies, neil patrick harris, nerimon, frezned, danisnotonfire, alexisonfire, billy talent, taking back sunday, john gomez, brian dales, alex pettyfer, logan lerman, tumblr, squareenix, old names, music class, good friends, late-night confessions, hanging out anywhere, eccentricity, spontaneous people, people with good memories, being unforgotten, lyricists, air heads, scissors, kicking, unicorns, rainbows, miss rainicorn, adventure time with finn and jake, flapjack, we came as romans, architects, joy division, two door cinema club, emma watson, george craig, emma watson and george craig together, the hoosiers, old photos, chalk drawing, graffiti, skateboarders, bmx riders, comic fanatics, superheros, guys, candy in tin cases, pastel stars, pointless wishing, sweet dreams, morning messages, text conversations, honey on toast, apple jelly, internet memes, advil, motion city soundtrack, vampire weekend, rolo tomassi, people named connor, people named sebastian, william, james, oliver, owen, eoin, alexander, joshua, andrew, aaron, christopher, jackson, hunter, and the like, the afterlife kids, downloading music, new downloads, video games, rpgs, shooter games, screaming, all forgotten, arcade fire, the asteroids galaxy tour, kick ass, aaron johnson, christopher mintz-plasse, devon werkshire, thick rimmed glasses, flickr, hipsters, cute kids, never growing up, beastie boys, we are the ocean, blink182, chameleon circuit, john green, hank green, paper towns, the perks of being a wallflower, lewis carroll, c.s. lewis, absolute brightness, the chronicles of narnia, lockets, trinkets, mimes, golden pocketwatches, nifty antiquities, halloween, sewing, the click five, parkway drive, cold war kids, obscurities, confessions, bookstores, candy stores, inside jokes, walls of wonder, being awesome, skins, kaya scodelario, luca pasqualino, jack o'connell, nicholas hoult, max hewer, hannah murray,
and a number of other things...
UHM FORESHADOWING?!!?!?
31.3.11 at 7:30 PM
| (5:18 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | shes an awesome girl and ur really lucky courtessyss of brett |
|---|---|
| (5:18 PM) >> uureeeka! --: |  |
| (5:18 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | i askked him what happened between you too and hhe said he didnt know |
| (5:19 PM) >> uureeeka! --: | aww you didn't have to |
| (5:19 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | but he surre ass hell likes you |
omg. i am a faggot. but i miss this kid. ok.
at 7:16 PM
| (4:24 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | omfgggggggggggg i told you it was some intense cheeze wiz you are in my heartt! |
|---|
----
| (4:42 PM) >> uureeeka! --: | this means i have nothing to bribe you with anymore |
|---|---|
| (4:43 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | what did youo need to bribe me for  |
| (4:44 PM) >> uureeeka! --: | idk, hugs, maybe :3 |
| (4:45 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | you dont need a bribe when you look the way you do C: |
| (4:46 PM) >> uureeeka! --: | ELGHERJGHERHGJKERHGVKJHFRGKERHGKJERHKGVJNERGHKJERHFGKJHRGRKJHGKJRHGKJHERGHKJRNHGKJREGTE |
----
| (9:53 PM) >> uureeeka! --: | except you don't listen to indie hipster stuff |
|---|---|
| (9:53 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | wtf is indie hipstir? like sandeep get in the curry sack or something |
---
| (10:21 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | no tears are supposed to be shed like that just laugh histaricly at some random shit right now like picture youor dog pole dancing or someshit |
|---|---|
| (10:22 PM) >> uureeeka! --: | i just don't know what i did right o: |
| (10:23 PM) [hr1$ti@n Mi(@ll: | omfg everything about you is right!!! |
concluding this day nonsense
at 6:58 PM
i have too many awkward situations to recall just one.
i'm not proud of a lot of things.
and that last argument i had, not parent related, was probably...
i don't really remember. hah, what a waste.
anyways, i figure i'm just going to stop pursuing people (easier said than done, man; need to stop getting attached) since this isn't working out. actually, it's never worked out. both times i've chased, i ended up in a month-long relationship (at the price of a friendship) and -- well, of course, i don't talk to julian much anymore.
i think i'll also stop getting to know boys overseas who end all their messages with "x" or call me babe, because that's really fucking creepy.
| (11:19 PM) ▴▿ uureeeka! ▿▴: | go sleep, you silly scot! |
|---|---|
(11:19 PM) BRAD  : | i need to someone to cuddle |
| (11:20 PM) ▴▿ uureeeka! ▿▴: | aw, cute (: |
| (11:21 PM) ▴▿ uureeeka! ▿▴: | stuffed animals, man |
| (11:23 PM) ▴▿ uureeeka! ▿▴: | well, i'm off to bed, brad gnight! and nice meeting you, you charming lad |
| (11:23 PM) BRAD: | nyt babe have a good sleep |
| (11:23 PM) ▴▿ uureeeka! ▿▴: | (: |
day twenty-six : someone on facebook who makes you cringe
25.3.11 at 6:53 PM
honestly, off the top of my head i really couldn't name anyone because as soon as someone is annoying on my facebook, i either delete them or block them from my newsfeed. i've got nearly 300 people blocked, man. shit's annoying.
24.3.11 at 4:43 PM
omg bringing this ds to school is probably the smartest thing i've done in agessgjlskejglekjglerg
SUCH A GOOD DAY OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
UNO UNO UNO UNO
OKAY
day twenty-six : five things within touching distance
at 4:33 PM
my brother's ds i xl,my cellphone, papers of difference kinds, french truffles (chocolate) and my laptop
wow maybe i have too many pet peeves or s/t
23.3.11 at 5:25 PM
I REALLY HATE UNRELIABILITY.
i don't think we'll get along very well.
I DO NOT EVER ENJOY HAVING ACADEMIC FREELOADERS IN MY GROUP.
i'm merely tolerating you at the moment.
YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING OH MY GOD.
we simply do not see eye-to-eye.
SOMEONE NOT EVEN IN OUR GROUP PARTICIPATED MORE ON OUR PROJECT THAN YOU.
you really must learn how to take on responsibilities.
IT'S A WONDER MY DAD TOLD ME UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE WORK AT McDONALD'S.
you should expand on your skills before you can be credible for something useful.
CLASS IS NOT A PLACE FOR MAKING COVERS/DISCUSSING TUMBLR/PLOTTING HOW TO WHORE YOURSELF OUT.
please, love, there's a time and a place for everything.
YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO DO SOME SOUL-SEARCHING OR SOMETHING.
i believe a spiritual vacation is in order.
but really how come i'm the atheist who attends more of religion class than you do yet you're another one of those "reblag if u f0llow g0d~" filipinos.
am i missing something
what
wat
wot
day twenty-five : someone you'd like to be for a day and why
at 4:43 PM
miranda kerr.
do i really need to explain this logic or......................
day twenty-four : your view on "tumblr famous"
22.3.11 at 2:44 PM
being famous isn't determined by the number of followers you have, but how quality you are. like, if you have a name/url that someone can just type and instantly you know who they're talking about you know
not those lame follow-for-follow-reblog-only blogs or the ones that post photos of themselves etc
to be tumblr famous means you are not shit.
day twenty-three : five things you want to change
21.3.11 at 6:40 PM
I. i want to change the fact that i'm so independent. i need to let myself admit to being hurt instead of just holding it in like i don't give a fuck.
II. i need to stop saying whatever pops into my head -- because it's probably better just staying there.
III. i sincerely want to be the one that some decent boy likes. i'm done chasing after other boys -- i'm too lazy and it compromises my life too much.
IV. i want to stop avoiding people. i wish i was friends with my ex because he was one of the sweetest guys i've ever known and if i hadn't felt closeted and started talking to him less, i have a feeling we'd at least still be friends. god i miss him so much, but referring to point number I, i can't really do anything about it.
V. i need to change feeling futile. i've wasted 5775 days of living achieving absolutely nothing. i need to stop planning these things and start making a change. i want to live a life in which i can look back to every single day with a smile, knowing i did something awesome.
NVM REDO DAY 22 I GOT THE CHAT LOG HAW
20.3.11 at 4:47 PM
Session Start: Monday, March 14, 2011
- ▴▿ uureeeka! ▿▴ [ 839days as of mar13 ] (erica.may25@hotmail.com)
- Laawwssoonn Emily(L) (laws_mayte@hotmail.com)
| (1:51 PM) Laawwssoonn: | hi |
|---|---|
| (1:51 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily just sent you a nudge. |
| (1:51 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily(L) is inviting you to start sharing photos. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation? |
| (1:54 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily just sent you a nudge. |
| (1:55 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily just sent you a nudge. |
| (1:57 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily(L) is now Offline |
| (1:57 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily(L) is now Online |
| (1:58 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily(L) has changed his/her status to Busy |
| (1:58 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily(L) has changed his/her status to Online |
| (2:00 PM) | Laawwssoonn Emily(L) is now Offline |
dumb bird.
day twenty-two : most recent msn conversation
at 9:45 AM
okay my msn is fucking freezing again so i can't post an actual ctrl+v but it was basically just chatting with some guy in england or whatever who kept nudging me when i wouldn't answer and ugh man he wasn't even hot.
day twenty-one ; post whatever's on your clipboard
19.3.11 at 12:17 PM
http://www.globalnews.ca/1402775.bin?size=sw380nws
lololol
writing ; new layout
18.3.11 at 7:21 PM
okay so from now on i'll post links to my writing pieces so you can see the graphics i've made and the coding i've done. basically, it all looks nicer there.
--------------------------
CHRISTOPHER WALTER CLARENCE+ANDREW TIMOTHY CLARENCE
THE CLARENCE TWINS
ROLE: THE TWIN LOST BOYS FROM PETER PAN
LINK
BASICALLY:
peace in neverland has been achieved: the natives have coerced both sides to resolve their differences, etc. basically, the entire "story/roleplay" theme is to document their lives after so much history has changed. at the present time, the natives have decided to hold a celebration (to celebrate the 12th moon cycle since the war or s/t lol idk) and everyone is invited.
* all graphics are made by me. photos are copyright to the model. coding was all done by me. all writing is mine.
awesome.
day twenty : your best sexual experience or lack thereof
at 6:05 AM
lack thereof.
day nineteen : a picture of yourself without makeup or hair done
17.3.11 at 6:27 AM
uh that's basically every picture i've ever taken
if i fix my hair it's only to fix my fringe or whatever
but i rarely rarely do my makeup because i don't know how
love me
day eighteen : to do list
16.3.11 at 7:05 AM
- get in the shower (currently standing in bathroom in robe with laptop on counter lalal) ☑
- work on graphics on photoshop
- work the graphics into coding
- finish coded+graphic formats [ 1/5 done ]
- in between that, eat lunch
- feed brother
- get changed etc
- go to cinema
and that should be my day
day seventeen : something you regret
15.3.11 at 7:11 AM
all the money i spent on useless shit that i could have saved up and had a fortune man
frankly, love, you're getting on my tits.
14.3.11 at 6:57 PM
if there's one thing i hate, it's being called wrong when i'm more or less right.
another thing? when people use terms they don't understand and use them wrongly.
and i'm noticing you do that a lot. you try to trap people with big words that aren't any more useful than string shots of spider webs. just distractions from the lack of usefulness.
right now, you're confusing your terms. i try to clarify and you don't cooperate. i try again and you call me wrong. no, because i don't talk about things i don't understand. i don't just pull words out of thin air and pretend i know what they mean. i won't deny that i used to be really drawn to your intelligence, but your half-assed attempt at a way with words is pissing me off now.
somewhat unrelated (yet related by a deeper bond) consider this analogy:
you're given $20 to spend on food; normally, you'd spend it a day at a time -- or even less than that! -- and and up with a lot of money for a longer amount of time. in this circumstance, though, you don't have that much time; you spend $2 the first day, then rush -- spending $5 every other day. then, when you've run out of time, you realize you've got no money left to spend, and you probably don't want to buy food anymore anyways; you'd rather spend your next allowance on something different.
that's the best way for me to sum up how i feel right now, of course substituting the money for affection/adrmiration/attraction and relation to the food as if it were him. i have spent so much more time striving to befriend you within the time i had that i ended up hung up in your tangled web of confusion -- i had no knowledge of my progress. and now, now that i know more or less where i stand, i'm so tired of trying that i'm free to cut myself loose without even looking back. i won't think of this as wasted time, per se, for you do happen to be a kindred spirit, but right now i cannot stand how your geniality wilts now that i've seen the light.
wow this blog has some sort of garden theme, what with all the flower and spider references lol i wonder if anyone reading this will catch that and find it poetic or something but i enjoyed writing all that down.
at 11:45 AM
Friends and Lovers
Although they are not loners in the traditional sense, May 25 natives don't have a strong need for the company of others. Love and romance can be difficult because they refuse to give up their independence in order to form a relationship. A potential mate must be prepared to play second fiddle to career goals a great deal of the time.
Children and Family
May 25 individuals often seek to break free from the restraints of family life at an early age. These people are extremely self-sufficient. If they opt for parenthood, they tend to be distant. They can be affectionate yet may be preoccupied with career considerations.
Dreams and Goals
Though their primary goals tend to be professional ones, May 25 individuals have other, more fundamental goals in mind. Their fierce struggle for success often embodies an "I'll show them" attitude, but they may actually be trying to erase the memory of hard times when they were young.
day sixteen : a drunken story
at 8:19 AM
i don't allow myself to actually get drunk. i mean, it's not that i'm a responsible, designated driver type person, i just don't see any point in drinking aside from occasions. at events, where i've planned getting home and past my parents and that, i'm down to drink. the thing is, though, i don't like letting my guard down. i like to maintain a relatively classy pretense.
day fifteen : lyrics that apply to your current situation
13.3.11 at 5:51 PM
absence makes the heart grow fonder / fondness makes the absence longer /
length loses my interest / i'm a realist / i'm insatiable
and really that's what worries me / i feel like i should / hurt
we both know your heart's not in it
and i taught myself the only way to vaguely get along in love / is to like the other slightly less than you get in return
ideals
12.3.11 at 5:13 PM
he would be caucasian with dark hair and blue/green/gray eyes. he'd be largely unnoticed by society as far as appearance goes, but he would be handsome. he'd wear hoodies and jumpers and jeans. he'd be nerdy and indie. he'd be awkward in the endearing way and never fail to make me smile. he'd remind me why life is good and teach me to savour the present. and when i'm not with him, i'd wish to be. he'd be sweet and make me blush. he'd have a nice smile and he'd give me great hugs. he'd have an interest in some of my favourite bands and interests, but he'd be a very moral guy. he'd be understanding and forgiving and caring -- and when he snaps, he'd have a reason to. he'd hug me and give me pecks of kisses and butterflies. he'd remind me of autumn and make me enjoy that season more. he'd be quiet and conscientious yet able to put up with my insolence. he'd be honest; he wouldn't just say what i'd want to hear.
he'd be the type of guy who could defy all the ideals i've already set, appearance-wise, and just make me want him more.
day fourteen : something disgusting you do.
at 3:10 PM
i bite my lips until they bleed. i clean dirt from under my nails. idk man define disgusting.
11.3.11 at 8:11 PM
romances fill me with dread.
pride clouds my emotions, so i only can feel what i want to show and i never know how i really feel about someone. i can’t find interest in someone for too long. it kills me how quickly they bore me. everyone bores me. and i don’t want to be the pitied one, so i instinctively block out any emotion once i’m left without any opportunities. i’m the person who finds futility in a chess game and quits because i don’t care when, really, i don’t want to lose. everything is too much of a game for me and i’m sick of it. i really wish i could find unending wonder in people in the little things they do, so i can discover myself with them or really be attracted by cosmos and all the things love in films and novels suggest.
i don’t know if i’ll ever be willing to sacrifice my pride when losing is an option.
day thirteen : (off tumblr) shag, marry, kill
at 4:17 AM
SHAG - denzel, jacob (theavengersinitiative), guerillawarfare, kungfukitty, kiril, omg
MARRY - chris (if he wasn't gay), AARON FUCKING PRESLEY, denzel heehee, BENEDICT OMG
KILL - uh idk probably whomever mandem is right now lul.
day twelve : something you're currently worried about
10.3.11 at 2:41 PM
- what if i can't convince my parents to let me go to the arctic monkeys gig?
- what if the tickets are too expensive?
- i don't want to be alone all the time
- what if my academics won't be enough to get me into a good university?
- what if my dad loses his job?
- what if my parents actually divorce?
- what if i never get to go to europe?
- what if i end up a social fuckup?
day eleven : stuck on an island for 10 years with someone you love, or 1 month with someone you hate
9.3.11 at 1:02 PM
i'd rather be stuck with someone i hate, since ten years with someone i fancy and i'd get fed up with them from heat exhaustion and my own natural temper. but if i already hate someone i'm stuck with, our relationship couldn't get any worse.
day ten : one thing you've lied about.
8.3.11 at 1:28 PM
i lie about a lot, admittedly. it comes naturally. sometimes it's like, "if they ask one more time i really will tell the truth" but they never ask again so i get away with the lie.
*
7.3.11 at 3:00 PM
de·sen·si·tize (d
-sns-tz)tr.v. de·sen·si·tized, de·sen·si·tiz·ing, de·sen·si·tiz·es
1. To render insensitive or less sensitive.
2. Immunology To make (an individual) nonreactive or insensitive to an antigen.
3. To make emotionally insensitive or unresponsive, as by long exposure or repeated shocks: "This movie in effect may resensitize people who thought they were desensitized to violence" (Steven Spielberg).
day nine: something that makes you sad when you think about it
at 2:16 PM
probably the fact that i'm nobody's best friend. i mean, nobody would be really badly impacted if i died, you know. and not only that but i'll probably be alone all my scholarly life anyways just because nobody i find attractive finds me attractive and anyone who ever finds me attractive probably has a personality trait or something i really don't like. so yeah, my general indifference to the world.
day eight : your last night out, in detail
6.3.11 at 8:19 AM
i think the last time i went out (that counts) was when i went to nicole's birthday party. i came a little early and it was awkward since her out-of-school friends that i only somewhat know (but have nothing in common with) were there too and it was intimidating. so i gave her my present and she enjoyed it like she is and then kim came and everything was okay and then we were all in the basement and people acknowledged that they met me before (relief) and we watched the ring and then more people i knew came and we ate food and by the time dom and zach and that crew came, i was more comfortable. so yeah then andrea was distributing blue vex which was really good (i would've liked it more if it was cold since it was lukewarm) and yeah then i had my first vodka mix which was okay (again, better if cold) but then the next one i got was a weird peach/mango/vodka mix and tasted shit (especially since it wasn't cold) and ugh so i drank half and gave it to, like, martin or something. yeah somewhere in between, brett finally came but short after all the drinks were hidden because the parents suspected shit and so the poor irish got nothing lal. then nicole was totally drunk and told me something i couldn't have guessed and aw poor thing but yeah we all ended up coaxing her to near-sobriety and at the end of the night we were all in the basement-bedroom just chilling there with the drunkards, then brett and i walked home at 'round 11 or half-past. then i got home and mum and dad were like how was it and i was like good good.
day seven : things you like and dislike about the way you look
5.3.11 at 9:36 AM
like:
how my hair looks short, how my curly hair looks when long, how silky my straight hair feels, how "perfect" my teeth are despite the short amount of time i've worn braces, my not-too-tall not-too-short height, how my legs look in tights, how thin my arms are, being skinny, my collarbones, my hipbones, my bones in general, my eyes, my lips, my long eyelashes.
dislike:
my thighs, how my bare legs look, my skin in general, acne, my scalp, my feet, my fingers, my hair when it's air-dried and short, my armpits, my stomach, my knobby knees, my bony neck,my teeth when i smile, how i look when i laugh, my face in photos, my neutral expression (lol meredith), my face shape, my complexion, how boring my eyes are, how dull my hair is, my eyebrows, my huge nose.
day six : how you'd spend $10,000
4.3.11 at 3:13 PM
I. investment, bitchesssssss. high rollin' niggas like me need some mutual funding dunnoe.
II. uh pay for university (tuition if american school, lodging if english)
III. i would pursue the items on my fashion checklist
IV. not donating any of this shit my nigga
V. buy fundamental comics so my future library will be a serene place
3.3.11 at 4:37 PM
clean slate.
day five : weird things you do when you're alone
at 2:23 PM
i twitch a lot and shudder like crazy. i "whisper-sing". i talk to myself in really convincing accents. i talk to myself, period. i do random crunches. when i'm home alone i sing passionately. i narrate my life in my head using a clockwork orange's alex for voice and slang. actually, i experiment with different narrator voices.
day four : the best thing to happen to you all week
2.3.11 at 6:08 PM
i stumbled upon trisha on my way home and we ended up walking home together and catching up and then she got locked out of her house so she came over and chilled which was really quite fun c:
i also found out that psychological treatment is covered by ohip so i just need to find a good time to ask my mum to take me for a checkup and everything will be great.
day three : five things that irritate you of the opposite/same sex
1.3.11 at 4:15 PM
boys:
I. when guys make really old, stupid jokes.
II. when they're drowning in the popular culture (slang, tv, music, etc)
III. "omg he's so cute" guy: "uh no he's a FAGGOT."
IV. homophobia
V. when they can't understand what i'm saying
girls:
I. they have such high expectations.
II. "i love you -- no homo!"
III. when they like ugly, burly men
IV. when they like things to make guys think they're totally one of a kind (ex. first person shooters, megan fox, sports cars, etc)
V. "i don't wanna boy i wanna man and i want him to hold me tight and never let me go and always come back to me after i period all over him because i'm such a high maintenance premenstrual bitch" etc etc
this layout and the icon was made by chapstick with colors from colourlovers. do not remove/alter the credits section in any way, thank you.