read on to hear my broken thoughts and insanely vague descriptions.

DAY 12 — LETTER TO THE PERSON YOU HATE THE MOST/CAUSED YOU A LOT OF PAIN.
dear expectations,
you make life so hard. i can't wake up without some expectation for my dad, or sleep without some expectation for the next day. my parents have unrealistic expectations of me, good and bad, and that stress makes me so freaking tired. i expect people to be one way or another and they scarcely fit my predictions. you're the reason for the end of most of my friendships and the beginning of most bad blood. without you, i can't imagine life, though. if i could just NOT think things through. if my parents could just let me live. if i could just let others live. ah, fuck.

DAY 13 — LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU WISH COULD FORGIVE YOU.
dear father,
i’ve done a lot of stupid shit in the past, but i’m a pretty good kid where it counts, you know? i don’t do drugs, smoke or drink, for that matter. i do what i can in school. i find myself always trying to start conversations with you while you just turn them down, like when you’d pick me up from karate and if the ride wasn’t silent, it ended with me screaming in tears. i don’t know why you go out of your way, sometimes, to make me miserable, or why you’re so much more strict when mum’s around.
nevertheless, it would be great of you to forgive me.

DAY 14 — LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU'VE DRIFTED AWAY FROM.
i’m not going to add too much to this, i was pretty much just tired of being dragged along and degraded. i started noticing this around november, to be honest. i ignored you for the most part, but then we had an msn conversation, and i thought everything would be okay. but then you brought her into the conversation, and i was ignored, obviously replaced. whatever, i left it. and remember when i had troubles making friends and you told me you'd ditch me in high school because you'd be "more popular" than me due to all your "older friends"? or maybe when we were talking to ______ and you were making me look worse than you? and then all the "you never recommend me anything good" complaints, when we both know that i showed you plenty of shit that you don't even credit me for. flat out, you just liked to feel better than everyone else. you never told me anything about you, and never really comforted me on any of my worries. if i liked a guy, you'd pretty much make plans with him, or tell me how you guys are now best friends. but you're so extremely fake, too; it makes me sick. stealing youtubers' style and making everyone think you're so goddam original? fuck, you're full of yourself! i remember around the start of grade nine i couldn't even stand to see what you'd write on people's walls. one minute, you'd reject a band, then once ________ told you she liked them, you'd say "oh, it's been a while; i'll give them another listen" - and BAM! rejected band becomes your new favourite. you copied nicole so much it was really lame. i could go on, but i find thinking about when we were "friends" to be a waste of time. i'd rather you stay a nobody to me.

DAY 15 — LETTER TO THE PERSON YOU MISS THE MOST.
dear ______,
i just wish you were still here. i mean, we’re somewhat in contact, but i really doubt it will ever be the same. you were a really good friend and you still are, but i will never know your inside jokes or what goes on in your head anymore. anyways, you were awesome, and so nice for a potential dictator. have a fun future (:

DAY 16 — LETTER TO SOMEONE THAT'S NOT IN YOUR COUNTRY.
dear husky,
gosh, i really do wish there was some what for me to have kept in touch with you after the cruise -- you were so sweet! i remember how jacy, ali and i were walking down one of the cruise corridors and i spotted you walking a bit ahead in a green sweater and black hat. "omg, that guy might be hot; let's follow him" and so we did, up until you went up the stairs and we headed to the deck. bummer. but then we saw you standing by the courts and watching the dodgeball game. i stood by while you and jacy talked. my gosh, you were a cutie for sure. your eyes were such a nice blue, but i'm sad to say i've forgotten your voice. ah, well, i miss you, massachusetts boy, but i'm so much happier now, even if i had a little crush on you we were becoming friends.

DAY 17 — LETTER TO SOMEONE FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD.
dear mariah,
i love you. you’ve always been one of my best friends, even if i moved before the end of grade 4. i mean, DAYUM GURL, we reconnected after all that time and we STILL have so much in common. i think we’re soulmates. we used to sit on the bus ride home, and you’d sing stupid cupid. and i remember when there was that girl shania. okay, i don’t remember much about her. BUT WE HAD SOME PRETTY CRAZY TIMES BRO. kkay

DAY 18 — LETTER TO THE PERSON YOU WISH YOU COULD BE.
dear amy pond/karen gillan,
you're absolutely gorgeous, endearing and have a brilliant scottish accent. not to mention, you're a ginger! and beside all that, you're winning over the hearts of so many whovians so fast. you've survived an encounter with the daleks, the weeping angels and the dream lord. and the icing to the cake? you're positively best friends with matt smith/the doctor. i know how heartbroken you were when you felt your raggedy doctor wouldn't return, and how you don't remember rory, but your life is so wonderful! traveling space and time with the magnificent doctor; while they do say that, after meeting him and seeing so many alternate universes, you'll never be happy with anything else again, but i can't help but wish that i could, as well.

dear hermione granger/emma watson,
i would give anything to be accepted into hogwarts, which is saying a lot with the life i have now. aside from the facts you're absolutely stunning, brilliant, fashionable and best friends with the boy who lived, you've had the opportunity to live my magical dreams. you've held a wand, crossed the hogwarts corridors, dined in the great hall, seen dumbledore and participated in the greatest revolution in wizard history. you're really amazing, and i can't see you possibly being unhappy, ever. and you marry a ginger. <3

DAY 19 — LETTER TO SOMEONE THAT PESTERS YOUR MIND, GOOD OR BAD.
dear yoooooou,

fml, all of these seem to be about you.

OK NOW, WHERE TO BEGIN? well, lately – as in, since after the new york trip – i have found it impossible to keep you off my mind. i mean, like, the frequent texting made me really happy. while i talked to you, i began to wonder if i liked you or if you could have possibly liked me. at that time, i still hopelessly liked that douche, so he was on my mind, but around may, i was pretty much over him. and around midnight of my birthday, i did not remember who that fag was. honestly, now i remember that he said hi to me and the only thing i could think of was how you texted me that thoughtful birthday wish at exact midnight :’) and then, twentyfour hours later, you told me you liked me. BOY, AFTER THAT I CAN FAIRLY SAY I COULDN’T STOP. i thought it was pretty crazy that for once things were working out for me, though… and then, once we were officially together, everything was so sweet. now, i can’t help but constantly think i’m always bugging you when i text you and stuff, but you know all about my paranoia… LOL but sometimes you text ME so it’s all good. so, hopefully you’re not over me yet, cuz i love you too much.