fate's a cruel mistress, girl

August 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 January 2012

ericamay, 25may1995, single forever, devoted to peter pan

charlieissocoollike, doctor who, peter pan, you me at six, i see stars, andy oliver, devin oliver, ribbons, bows, drummers, bright colours, black and white contrast, people who smile a lot, laughing, beats, rhythms, being good at something, fireworks, writing, sketching, details, internet, photoshop, graphic design, coding, paint, crayons, paper, plain goldfish, the colours green and blue, prince phillip, princess aurora, tinkerbell, neverland, disneyland, disneyworld, crush the turtle, chemistry, storybook romance, arctic monkeys, britain, irish accents, every accent, scottish boys, skinny boys, pale boys, collarbones, freckles, gingers, photobooths, madina lake, billy idol, chocolate chip cookies, toffee, tiny marshmallows, hot cocoa, good memories, bloodrushes, laughing, singers, musicians, good headphones, punching the backs of car seats while listening to hardcore music in parking lots, hugs, kisses, winter, sweaters, hoodies, scarves, snowflakes, eyelashes, pretty eyes, dark hair, blonde hair, straight hair, wavy hair, offensive humours, people who don't take things seriously, heated debates, awkward moments, having private concerts home alone, red pandas, sharks, weasels, minxes, puppydogs, kittycats, post-it notes, caring reminders, strawberries, raspberries, william beckett, matt smith, karen gillan, david tennant, alex turner, joe brooks, noah and the whale, mumford and sons, los campesinos, french people, foreign languages, magic tricks, illusions, photographs, macros, doodling people i know, doodling people i wish i knew, pens that flow smoothly, shortbread cookies, tapping my feet, high fives, pokemon, laughing so hard i cry, being told people love me, winning, swedish fish, candies, neil patrick harris, nerimon, frezned, danisnotonfire, alexisonfire, billy talent, taking back sunday, john gomez, brian dales, alex pettyfer, logan lerman, tumblr, squareenix, old names, music class, good friends, late-night confessions, hanging out anywhere, eccentricity, spontaneous people, people with good memories, being unforgotten, lyricists, air heads, scissors, kicking, unicorns, rainbows, miss rainicorn, adventure time with finn and jake, flapjack, we came as romans, architects, joy division, two door cinema club, emma watson, george craig, emma watson and george craig together, the hoosiers, old photos, chalk drawing, graffiti, skateboarders, bmx riders, comic fanatics, superheros, guys, candy in tin cases, pastel stars, pointless wishing, sweet dreams, morning messages, text conversations, honey on toast, apple jelly, internet memes, advil, motion city soundtrack, vampire weekend, rolo tomassi, people named connor, people named sebastian, william, james, oliver, owen, eoin, alexander, joshua, andrew, aaron, christopher, jackson, hunter, and the like, the afterlife kids, downloading music, new downloads, video games, rpgs, shooter games, screaming, all forgotten, arcade fire, the asteroids galaxy tour, kick ass, aaron johnson, christopher mintz-plasse, devon werkshire, thick rimmed glasses, flickr, hipsters, cute kids, never growing up, beastie boys, we are the ocean, blink182, chameleon circuit, john green, hank green, paper towns, the perks of being a wallflower, lewis carroll, c.s. lewis, absolute brightness, the chronicles of narnia, lockets, trinkets, mimes, golden pocketwatches, nifty antiquities, halloween, sewing, the click five, parkway drive, cold war kids, obscurities, confessions, bookstores, candy stores, inside jokes, walls of wonder, being awesome, skins, kaya scodelario, luca pasqualino, jack o'connell, nicholas hoult, max hewer, hannah murray,

and a number of other things...

30.8.10 at 9:21 PM

iluvubbyzI love colours. I really love colours – so vibrant and pretty, and often so cheerful and lovely, yeah? Not like the serious monochrome of black-and-white. Whenever I see a black-and-white photo, in all its greyscale glory, I can’t help but feel intimidated. Why is it so powerful? It ignores an entire spectrum of beautiful shades and hues, yet a single, colourless photograph can make grown men in galleries cry (and probably cause another black-and-white photographer to capture that man crying within frames, and continue this cycle of “emotion”). But sadness isn’t the only emotion there is – trust me, I’ve felt it all, even if I haven’t felt it myself. There’s euphoria, and love, and and magic, and wonder! Sometimes, you can’t feel all of that in a little, washed-out photograph of an old man in a rainfall – sometimes, you need colour, just like you need food, drink, oxygen and good music.

iluvubbyzSometimes I think people are colour-blind, in theory. I mean, they certainly canpiece together pretty little outfits, and distinguish green from yellow, but they spend so much time worrying about things to notice the greater good in the world! So much time is spent chasing boys and chasing girls and doing homework and following orders and rushing around – but doesn’t anyone stop to notice beauty? Hardly, they usually scorn. The tiny plants that have the strong will to push through the bricks and blocks about then are harshly titledweeds, but what of the ambition they possess? Their power to remind people they are the Earth, and it’s completely inhospitable to create our civilizations on them, and try to ignore what should be cherished and thanked!

iluvubbyzI don’t want to fall prey to this casualty and ignorance. The pills let me see colours so often. They let me notice the leaves carried in the wind, the slow blooming of buds on trees, the speck of a birth mark on Oliver’s collarbone, the gleam of light in mischievous Mim’s eyes... Things I wouldn’t notice if I was uptight and always worrying. It was grand! Marvellous! Stunning! Colours flashed behind my eyes, making me feel like I had new super powers. They distracted me from things people would focus on, like how my hands were cold, Mim was so crazy she was defined as superbly unstable, and how breathtakingly handsome Dante was when fire blazed in him.

iluvubbyzI felt a moment of pressure at the back of my head, and it was like a hook through the gill, pulling me back out of water and into cold air. Suddenly, I was more aware of sound – loud, loud sound. Voices all around, hushes and whispers and – singing, was it? Oh, of course! With a grin, I turned to my company and cocked my head to the side, biting my lip before looking at them all. "Oh, wow. You guys are all lovely and great,” I absentmindedly tilted my head up to the sky with a smile, then looked back over my shoulder to catch the sight of Tobi – no, he was always changing his name, but he was my little bunny. I turned back and nodded my head in a bow. "I think that was my cue.” I placed a kiss on each of their cheeks before twirling ‘round and starting to skip off, a tune playing from my lips. " How can you dream in the doorway without ever going in? How can you dream in the doorway...” I had a pretty okay voice, if I do say so myself. "I am not your concern, the world will still turn when I’m not around. Rely on me and you’ll fall, backs up to the wall, someone let me out!” The thing about my Bunny was that he liked to run, and he always ran so fast! But if you want to catch up with him, you’d have to let him know you’re not chasing him! It’s like he can see you behind him without ever turning round – clever!

change that tone, missy!

iluvubbyzHer voice hung in the air like honey in the paths she previously walked. As she neared her dearest Harrison, she witnessed him drop all his books in shock and couldn’t help but giggle. The pills restricted her from feeling the compassion he had. Hopping behind the boy, she threw her thin arms around his waist and gave him a tight hug and many, many kisses on his soft cheeks and defined jaw line. She loved that Bunny so! He was possibly the more adorable thing she ever laid eyes upon – she could probably eat him up. "How are you today, my love?” She rested her chin on his clavicle and her sparkling blue eyes fell on her kind, wonderful roommate, Inari. "And you, as well, my dear! How did you sleep?” The feeling of a buzz in her small red purse made her jump slightly; she pulled her cellular from the bag, still remaining on Tobin’s shoulder as she read over it. Her soft, pink lips pulled in a smile while she answered.

To: Demikins
From: Anakins
(No Subject)
lolol ollikins keep me more entertained? never!
i’ll meet u then :D hope u got raspberry or chocolate!
xx
anabanana!

iluvubbyzHer fingers his send before she dropped the phone back in her bag and gave her bunny another few pecks, and stood back straight. "Oh, wow. Today is just full of sudden farewells for me,” She hummed, pointing her toes and tapping the ground like a ballerina."So I’m afraid I’ll have to catch up with you two later. Ta!” A kiss for Inari, a kiss for her Bunny and she was off again. She liked kissing, it was sweet, like when puppy dogs nuzzle your face and you can’t help but to smother them in a billion pecks on their soft, cashmere fur. There was no discrimination with Anastazja – she didn’t mind what you thought of her kisses, she didn’t mind your gender or sexuality, she would give you a kiss.

iluvubbyzUnless, of course, you were a certain male named Ludwig Ruiz. That boy was the most intimidating, beautiful, intelligent and positively remarkable young man she had ever laid eyes on. He made her want to drown in pills to block the ill-inducing throb in her chest. He knew everything, and there was nothing amazing, splendid or clever she could tell him that he didn’t already know. But while he filled her with confusion, sadness and desolation on a regular basis, she couldn’t get away from him. She scowled at the thought of that weakness, her freckles moving across with her skin. Dropping a hand back into her bag, she pulled the small plastic out again and picked out two, tiny white pills. Down her throat they went easily, and it only took mere seconds before they took effect and the thoughts were gone.

iluvubbyzSkipping past a crack, she looked up and saw Demitri nearby ; with a smile she quickly ran up to him and grinned, opening her mouth to speak before noticing the teacher beside. "G’morning, Mister Wyllt! How are you? It’s so so so great to see the both of you here today!” The last remark was directed to Demi, as well. Noting the brown paper bag, she smiled again and marched in time beside him. "I really, truly do hope you have chocolate chip. I’m in a rather chocolaty mood this morning, if you don’t mind.” She was sweet and polite, because even though they were very good friends, one mustn’t ever forget their manners!