read on to hear my broken thoughts and insanely vague descriptions.
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ericamay, 25may1995, single forever, devoted to peter pan
charlieissocoollike, doctor who, peter pan, you me at six, i see stars, andy oliver, devin oliver, ribbons, bows, drummers, bright colours, black and white contrast, people who smile a lot, laughing, beats, rhythms, being good at something, fireworks, writing, sketching, details, internet, photoshop, graphic design, coding, paint, crayons, paper, plain goldfish, the colours green and blue, prince phillip, princess aurora, tinkerbell, neverland, disneyland, disneyworld, crush the turtle, chemistry, storybook romance, arctic monkeys, britain, irish accents, every accent, scottish boys, skinny boys, pale boys, collarbones, freckles, gingers, photobooths, madina lake, billy idol, chocolate chip cookies, toffee, tiny marshmallows, hot cocoa, good memories, bloodrushes, laughing, singers, musicians, good headphones, punching the backs of car seats while listening to hardcore music in parking lots, hugs, kisses, winter, sweaters, hoodies, scarves, snowflakes, eyelashes, pretty eyes, dark hair, blonde hair, straight hair, wavy hair, offensive humours, people who don't take things seriously, heated debates, awkward moments, having private concerts home alone, red pandas, sharks, weasels, minxes, puppydogs, kittycats, post-it notes, caring reminders, strawberries, raspberries, william beckett, matt smith, karen gillan, david tennant, alex turner, joe brooks, noah and the whale, mumford and sons, los campesinos, french people, foreign languages, magic tricks, illusions, photographs, macros, doodling people i know, doodling people i wish i knew, pens that flow smoothly, shortbread cookies, tapping my feet, high fives, pokemon, laughing so hard i cry, being told people love me, winning, swedish fish, candies, neil patrick harris, nerimon, frezned, danisnotonfire, alexisonfire, billy talent, taking back sunday, john gomez, brian dales, alex pettyfer, logan lerman, tumblr, squareenix, old names, music class, good friends, late-night confessions, hanging out anywhere, eccentricity, spontaneous people, people with good memories, being unforgotten, lyricists, air heads, scissors, kicking, unicorns, rainbows, miss rainicorn, adventure time with finn and jake, flapjack, we came as romans, architects, joy division, two door cinema club, emma watson, george craig, emma watson and george craig together, the hoosiers, old photos, chalk drawing, graffiti, skateboarders, bmx riders, comic fanatics, superheros, guys, candy in tin cases, pastel stars, pointless wishing, sweet dreams, morning messages, text conversations, honey on toast, apple jelly, internet memes, advil, motion city soundtrack, vampire weekend, rolo tomassi, people named connor, people named sebastian, william, james, oliver, owen, eoin, alexander, joshua, andrew, aaron, christopher, jackson, hunter, and the like, the afterlife kids, downloading music, new downloads, video games, rpgs, shooter games, screaming, all forgotten, arcade fire, the asteroids galaxy tour, kick ass, aaron johnson, christopher mintz-plasse, devon werkshire, thick rimmed glasses, flickr, hipsters, cute kids, never growing up, beastie boys, we are the ocean, blink182, chameleon circuit, john green, hank green, paper towns, the perks of being a wallflower, lewis carroll, c.s. lewis, absolute brightness, the chronicles of narnia, lockets, trinkets, mimes, golden pocketwatches, nifty antiquities, halloween, sewing, the click five, parkway drive, cold war kids, obscurities, confessions, bookstores, candy stores, inside jokes, walls of wonder, being awesome, skins, kaya scodelario, luca pasqualino, jack o'connell, nicholas hoult, max hewer, hannah murray,
and a number of other things...
i'm going to sound like the most selfish person ever, so you don't have to read this, but to be completely and totally honest, i just have less tolerance for people happier than me.
i mean, i understand that you're not in "my situation" and i'm not wishing this upon you -- i'm not even asking for your help, since i know there's nothing you can do -- but can you at least have a little patience for me? you have your problems, sure, but they probably don't leave you feeling grey and alone all the time.
it's like you and i go on a mountain-climbing expedition, and we swear to help each other. suddenly, while i'm still trying to overcome this one obstacle, you're all the way at the top. and i'll be telling you "i don't know what to do!" and you'd just shout back random instructions, halfheartedly, like what you're saying is the easiest in the world.
maybe i complain about the same thing over and over again, and maybe it doesn't look like i'm putting any effort into anything, but you haven't ever spent a day in my shoes. you don't know exactly how much this hurts, feeling like a bird in a cage; "the door's right there, why can't you just open it?" maybe it's not that easy for me to get out.
i don't ask you for help or anything, and if you don't really want to help me, then fine. just don't give me all this bullshit about how things are so easy for me. they're not. i'm not pitying myself for attention, either. i am not the kind of person with that much confidence. and if you want me to be patient with you, you should keep in mind to do the same.
i'm not just going to help you, and have you leave me in this ditch, maybe kick in some dirt here and there. call me selfish, but this is realistic. actually, before you call me conceited, think about putting yourself in that exact spot.
fucking caged.
enough space to move about happily.
a clear solution to my problems.
but it's not as easy as it looks.
and once i get out, solve this little mess, what then?
what about when i'm recaptured in the same cage?
are you just going to tell me to open the door again?
this layout and the icon was made by chapstick with colors from colourlovers. do not remove/alter the credits section in any way, thank you.
ericamay, 25may1995, single forever, devoted to peter pan
charlieissocoollike, doctor who, peter pan, you me at six, i see stars, andy oliver, devin oliver, ribbons, bows, drummers, bright colours, black and white contrast, people who smile a lot, laughing, beats, rhythms, being good at something, fireworks, writing, sketching, details, internet, photoshop, graphic design, coding, paint, crayons, paper, plain goldfish, the colours green and blue, prince phillip, princess aurora, tinkerbell, neverland, disneyland, disneyworld, crush the turtle, chemistry, storybook romance, arctic monkeys, britain, irish accents, every accent, scottish boys, skinny boys, pale boys, collarbones, freckles, gingers, photobooths, madina lake, billy idol, chocolate chip cookies, toffee, tiny marshmallows, hot cocoa, good memories, bloodrushes, laughing, singers, musicians, good headphones, punching the backs of car seats while listening to hardcore music in parking lots, hugs, kisses, winter, sweaters, hoodies, scarves, snowflakes, eyelashes, pretty eyes, dark hair, blonde hair, straight hair, wavy hair, offensive humours, people who don't take things seriously, heated debates, awkward moments, having private concerts home alone, red pandas, sharks, weasels, minxes, puppydogs, kittycats, post-it notes, caring reminders, strawberries, raspberries, william beckett, matt smith, karen gillan, david tennant, alex turner, joe brooks, noah and the whale, mumford and sons, los campesinos, french people, foreign languages, magic tricks, illusions, photographs, macros, doodling people i know, doodling people i wish i knew, pens that flow smoothly, shortbread cookies, tapping my feet, high fives, pokemon, laughing so hard i cry, being told people love me, winning, swedish fish, candies, neil patrick harris, nerimon, frezned, danisnotonfire, alexisonfire, billy talent, taking back sunday, john gomez, brian dales, alex pettyfer, logan lerman, tumblr, squareenix, old names, music class, good friends, late-night confessions, hanging out anywhere, eccentricity, spontaneous people, people with good memories, being unforgotten, lyricists, air heads, scissors, kicking, unicorns, rainbows, miss rainicorn, adventure time with finn and jake, flapjack, we came as romans, architects, joy division, two door cinema club, emma watson, george craig, emma watson and george craig together, the hoosiers, old photos, chalk drawing, graffiti, skateboarders, bmx riders, comic fanatics, superheros, guys, candy in tin cases, pastel stars, pointless wishing, sweet dreams, morning messages, text conversations, honey on toast, apple jelly, internet memes, advil, motion city soundtrack, vampire weekend, rolo tomassi, people named connor, people named sebastian, william, james, oliver, owen, eoin, alexander, joshua, andrew, aaron, christopher, jackson, hunter, and the like, the afterlife kids, downloading music, new downloads, video games, rpgs, shooter games, screaming, all forgotten, arcade fire, the asteroids galaxy tour, kick ass, aaron johnson, christopher mintz-plasse, devon werkshire, thick rimmed glasses, flickr, hipsters, cute kids, never growing up, beastie boys, we are the ocean, blink182, chameleon circuit, john green, hank green, paper towns, the perks of being a wallflower, lewis carroll, c.s. lewis, absolute brightness, the chronicles of narnia, lockets, trinkets, mimes, golden pocketwatches, nifty antiquities, halloween, sewing, the click five, parkway drive, cold war kids, obscurities, confessions, bookstores, candy stores, inside jokes, walls of wonder, being awesome, skins, kaya scodelario, luca pasqualino, jack o'connell, nicholas hoult, max hewer, hannah murray,
and a number of other things...
19.10.10 at 6:40 PM
i'm going to sound like the most selfish person ever, so you don't have to read this, but to be completely and totally honest, i just have less tolerance for people happier than me.
i mean, i understand that you're not in "my situation" and i'm not wishing this upon you -- i'm not even asking for your help, since i know there's nothing you can do -- but can you at least have a little patience for me? you have your problems, sure, but they probably don't leave you feeling grey and alone all the time.
it's like you and i go on a mountain-climbing expedition, and we swear to help each other. suddenly, while i'm still trying to overcome this one obstacle, you're all the way at the top. and i'll be telling you "i don't know what to do!" and you'd just shout back random instructions, halfheartedly, like what you're saying is the easiest in the world.
maybe i complain about the same thing over and over again, and maybe it doesn't look like i'm putting any effort into anything, but you haven't ever spent a day in my shoes. you don't know exactly how much this hurts, feeling like a bird in a cage; "the door's right there, why can't you just open it?" maybe it's not that easy for me to get out.
i don't ask you for help or anything, and if you don't really want to help me, then fine. just don't give me all this bullshit about how things are so easy for me. they're not. i'm not pitying myself for attention, either. i am not the kind of person with that much confidence. and if you want me to be patient with you, you should keep in mind to do the same.
i'm not just going to help you, and have you leave me in this ditch, maybe kick in some dirt here and there. call me selfish, but this is realistic. actually, before you call me conceited, think about putting yourself in that exact spot.
fucking caged.
enough space to move about happily.
a clear solution to my problems.
but it's not as easy as it looks.
and once i get out, solve this little mess, what then?
what about when i'm recaptured in the same cage?
are you just going to tell me to open the door again?
this layout and the icon was made by chapstick with colors from colourlovers. do not remove/alter the credits section in any way, thank you.