read on to hear my broken thoughts and insanely vague descriptions.
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ericamay, 25may1995, single forever, devoted to peter pan
charlieissocoollike, doctor who, peter pan, you me at six, i see stars, andy oliver, devin oliver, ribbons, bows, drummers, bright colours, black and white contrast, people who smile a lot, laughing, beats, rhythms, being good at something, fireworks, writing, sketching, details, internet, photoshop, graphic design, coding, paint, crayons, paper, plain goldfish, the colours green and blue, prince phillip, princess aurora, tinkerbell, neverland, disneyland, disneyworld, crush the turtle, chemistry, storybook romance, arctic monkeys, britain, irish accents, every accent, scottish boys, skinny boys, pale boys, collarbones, freckles, gingers, photobooths, madina lake, billy idol, chocolate chip cookies, toffee, tiny marshmallows, hot cocoa, good memories, bloodrushes, laughing, singers, musicians, good headphones, punching the backs of car seats while listening to hardcore music in parking lots, hugs, kisses, winter, sweaters, hoodies, scarves, snowflakes, eyelashes, pretty eyes, dark hair, blonde hair, straight hair, wavy hair, offensive humours, people who don't take things seriously, heated debates, awkward moments, having private concerts home alone, red pandas, sharks, weasels, minxes, puppydogs, kittycats, post-it notes, caring reminders, strawberries, raspberries, william beckett, matt smith, karen gillan, david tennant, alex turner, joe brooks, noah and the whale, mumford and sons, los campesinos, french people, foreign languages, magic tricks, illusions, photographs, macros, doodling people i know, doodling people i wish i knew, pens that flow smoothly, shortbread cookies, tapping my feet, high fives, pokemon, laughing so hard i cry, being told people love me, winning, swedish fish, candies, neil patrick harris, nerimon, frezned, danisnotonfire, alexisonfire, billy talent, taking back sunday, john gomez, brian dales, alex pettyfer, logan lerman, tumblr, squareenix, old names, music class, good friends, late-night confessions, hanging out anywhere, eccentricity, spontaneous people, people with good memories, being unforgotten, lyricists, air heads, scissors, kicking, unicorns, rainbows, miss rainicorn, adventure time with finn and jake, flapjack, we came as romans, architects, joy division, two door cinema club, emma watson, george craig, emma watson and george craig together, the hoosiers, old photos, chalk drawing, graffiti, skateboarders, bmx riders, comic fanatics, superheros, guys, candy in tin cases, pastel stars, pointless wishing, sweet dreams, morning messages, text conversations, honey on toast, apple jelly, internet memes, advil, motion city soundtrack, vampire weekend, rolo tomassi, people named connor, people named sebastian, william, james, oliver, owen, eoin, alexander, joshua, andrew, aaron, christopher, jackson, hunter, and the like, the afterlife kids, downloading music, new downloads, video games, rpgs, shooter games, screaming, all forgotten, arcade fire, the asteroids galaxy tour, kick ass, aaron johnson, christopher mintz-plasse, devon werkshire, thick rimmed glasses, flickr, hipsters, cute kids, never growing up, beastie boys, we are the ocean, blink182, chameleon circuit, john green, hank green, paper towns, the perks of being a wallflower, lewis carroll, c.s. lewis, absolute brightness, the chronicles of narnia, lockets, trinkets, mimes, golden pocketwatches, nifty antiquities, halloween, sewing, the click five, parkway drive, cold war kids, obscurities, confessions, bookstores, candy stores, inside jokes, walls of wonder, being awesome, skins, kaya scodelario, luca pasqualino, jack o'connell, nicholas hoult, max hewer, hannah murray,
and a number of other things...
or not so quick. anyways, it's like this:
so, i have this heart and it's all grand and merry, pumping blood and oxygen and shit everywhere -- awesome. so when i meet someone, it's like this tiny needle is being pricked into my heart, with their name on it. it doesn't hurt -- it's like the metaphorical acupuncture i've never had, and never intend to -- and it's like the needle stays in. the longer it stays, the more it grows, so to speak. so, let's say i have a conversation with a kind old man at a park that's more sincere than forced; when we part ways, it's like the needle leaves too and it barely even stings -- it's wee like a mosquito bite -- and it heals quickly, and i forget him. what we talked about, what he looked like, what he was doing, why i started talking to him; all gone.
but with people who stay in my life longer, it's far more difficult. their little needles dig deeper, grow wider. and then, through everything, they leave. but yanking out that not-so-little-anymore needle hurts far more than the sliver of a mosquito. i don't want to get rid of it at all. it's like a bandage i'm afraid to rid myself of. but the more i hold onto it, the harder it becomes to get rid of. but when i finally have the tenacity to get rid of it -- oh, it hurts too much to bear. i'll cry myself to sleep at the mere thought of that ache, fail to find any joy in a life without the owner of that giant plug of a needle, and try to find quick methods to heal. only time can heal some things properly, though.
i've already properly rid myself of one needle, but now i've got another. and i can feel it growing and already start dreading losing it. to be frank, i don't want to waste my time putting so much care into something so apathetic -- something that'll leave so soon. something that probably cares little for me in comparison to how much i care for it. ok, him. i don't know what causes me to objectify him, but whatever. i'm pathetic. i need to move on.
this layout and the icon was made by chapstick with colors from colourlovers. do not remove/alter the credits section in any way, thank you.
ericamay, 25may1995, single forever, devoted to peter pan
charlieissocoollike, doctor who, peter pan, you me at six, i see stars, andy oliver, devin oliver, ribbons, bows, drummers, bright colours, black and white contrast, people who smile a lot, laughing, beats, rhythms, being good at something, fireworks, writing, sketching, details, internet, photoshop, graphic design, coding, paint, crayons, paper, plain goldfish, the colours green and blue, prince phillip, princess aurora, tinkerbell, neverland, disneyland, disneyworld, crush the turtle, chemistry, storybook romance, arctic monkeys, britain, irish accents, every accent, scottish boys, skinny boys, pale boys, collarbones, freckles, gingers, photobooths, madina lake, billy idol, chocolate chip cookies, toffee, tiny marshmallows, hot cocoa, good memories, bloodrushes, laughing, singers, musicians, good headphones, punching the backs of car seats while listening to hardcore music in parking lots, hugs, kisses, winter, sweaters, hoodies, scarves, snowflakes, eyelashes, pretty eyes, dark hair, blonde hair, straight hair, wavy hair, offensive humours, people who don't take things seriously, heated debates, awkward moments, having private concerts home alone, red pandas, sharks, weasels, minxes, puppydogs, kittycats, post-it notes, caring reminders, strawberries, raspberries, william beckett, matt smith, karen gillan, david tennant, alex turner, joe brooks, noah and the whale, mumford and sons, los campesinos, french people, foreign languages, magic tricks, illusions, photographs, macros, doodling people i know, doodling people i wish i knew, pens that flow smoothly, shortbread cookies, tapping my feet, high fives, pokemon, laughing so hard i cry, being told people love me, winning, swedish fish, candies, neil patrick harris, nerimon, frezned, danisnotonfire, alexisonfire, billy talent, taking back sunday, john gomez, brian dales, alex pettyfer, logan lerman, tumblr, squareenix, old names, music class, good friends, late-night confessions, hanging out anywhere, eccentricity, spontaneous people, people with good memories, being unforgotten, lyricists, air heads, scissors, kicking, unicorns, rainbows, miss rainicorn, adventure time with finn and jake, flapjack, we came as romans, architects, joy division, two door cinema club, emma watson, george craig, emma watson and george craig together, the hoosiers, old photos, chalk drawing, graffiti, skateboarders, bmx riders, comic fanatics, superheros, guys, candy in tin cases, pastel stars, pointless wishing, sweet dreams, morning messages, text conversations, honey on toast, apple jelly, internet memes, advil, motion city soundtrack, vampire weekend, rolo tomassi, people named connor, people named sebastian, william, james, oliver, owen, eoin, alexander, joshua, andrew, aaron, christopher, jackson, hunter, and the like, the afterlife kids, downloading music, new downloads, video games, rpgs, shooter games, screaming, all forgotten, arcade fire, the asteroids galaxy tour, kick ass, aaron johnson, christopher mintz-plasse, devon werkshire, thick rimmed glasses, flickr, hipsters, cute kids, never growing up, beastie boys, we are the ocean, blink182, chameleon circuit, john green, hank green, paper towns, the perks of being a wallflower, lewis carroll, c.s. lewis, absolute brightness, the chronicles of narnia, lockets, trinkets, mimes, golden pocketwatches, nifty antiquities, halloween, sewing, the click five, parkway drive, cold war kids, obscurities, confessions, bookstores, candy stores, inside jokes, walls of wonder, being awesome, skins, kaya scodelario, luca pasqualino, jack o'connell, nicholas hoult, max hewer, hannah murray,
and a number of other things...
a quick analogy.
20.12.10 at 3:53 PM
or not so quick. anyways, it's like this:
so, i have this heart and it's all grand and merry, pumping blood and oxygen and shit everywhere -- awesome. so when i meet someone, it's like this tiny needle is being pricked into my heart, with their name on it. it doesn't hurt -- it's like the metaphorical acupuncture i've never had, and never intend to -- and it's like the needle stays in. the longer it stays, the more it grows, so to speak. so, let's say i have a conversation with a kind old man at a park that's more sincere than forced; when we part ways, it's like the needle leaves too and it barely even stings -- it's wee like a mosquito bite -- and it heals quickly, and i forget him. what we talked about, what he looked like, what he was doing, why i started talking to him; all gone.
but with people who stay in my life longer, it's far more difficult. their little needles dig deeper, grow wider. and then, through everything, they leave. but yanking out that not-so-little-anymore needle hurts far more than the sliver of a mosquito. i don't want to get rid of it at all. it's like a bandage i'm afraid to rid myself of. but the more i hold onto it, the harder it becomes to get rid of. but when i finally have the tenacity to get rid of it -- oh, it hurts too much to bear. i'll cry myself to sleep at the mere thought of that ache, fail to find any joy in a life without the owner of that giant plug of a needle, and try to find quick methods to heal. only time can heal some things properly, though.
i've already properly rid myself of one needle, but now i've got another. and i can feel it growing and already start dreading losing it. to be frank, i don't want to waste my time putting so much care into something so apathetic -- something that'll leave so soon. something that probably cares little for me in comparison to how much i care for it. ok, him. i don't know what causes me to objectify him, but whatever. i'm pathetic. i need to move on.
this layout and the icon was made by chapstick with colors from colourlovers. do not remove/alter the credits section in any way, thank you.